Dennis Tuuri

Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. God in his grace and wisdom has given man the institution of marriage. We gather here today to affirm God’s sovereign order by witnessing the joining of Steven Nelson and Marjery Jones in holy matrimony. Who gives this woman to be married to this man? I her father do. Please take the breath. Let’s pray.

In thy living name, God and Lord, maker of heaven and earth, who madest all things by the word of thy behest. Thou fashionest man the first Adam and established from him the marriage of Eve. Thou blessest the marriage of Seth and there from the earth increased down to Noah. Thou blessest the marriage of Noah and there from the earth through her heritage down to Abraham. Thou blessest the marriages of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and they increased on earth and were crowned in heaven. Out of the stock of Judah, thou blessest David, and from the seed of David, Mary, and from her begot the savior of the world.

For thou became the crown of all saints. Now with blessing let this service be blessed and the marriage of these thy persons that this servant and handmaid of thine may pass their lives in peace in all righteousness to the end that Satan be driven afar from their midst and thy mercy may come upon them and that we may utter to thee praise and glory together with the Father and the Holy Spirit now and forever. Amen.

Please be seated. Heat. Heat. Yeah. Heat. Oh, heat, heat. Hey, heat. Hey. Yeah. Heat. Oh, heat, heat.

Good morning. This is a very important day for all of us. Some of us in a very special way. Marriage itself is one of the most important occasions that man can possibly experience. And if it’s looked at in the light of the word of God, then it’s tremendously important. And so it’s a privilege for us to gather here this morning in the setting of this worship service with many friends and relatives. And most of us, many of us will never be in this kind of setting again. So, what a privilege it is to gather around the word of God and to direct our attention to what the scriptures say about holy matrimony.

It is indeed a very special occasion for Steve and Marge, but not only for them. It’s a very special occasion for their parents and for their relatives and for their church and for society in general. Marriage is not an individualistic institution. Contrary to the myth that prevails today that if two consenting adults want to go through some kind of emotion called a marriage that’s all there is to it. No, every marriage involves a great many people according to experience and especially according to the word of God. It’s one of the great lies of humanism, present day humanism that marriage is strictly individualistic.

I want to direct your attention to the verses that were read for us a little earlier this morning. Genesis chapter 2, which gives us the absolutely important instruction concerning the creation of a wife for the first man, Adam, and then the institution of marriage which flowed out of that first union. The salient points that I want to direct your attention to and you may be looking at your at the text as we go along. And I know I’m to keep this very short. We’ll try to do our best.

The first thing that we want to emphasize is that God’s word and not man’s word must instruct us concerning the institution of marriage. Today, most people are controlled by pagan mythology and this involves marriage also. So that human life being shrouded in mystery and an unknown origin involves this thing we call marriage today. The arrangements that human males and females want to make the basis of convenience or desire or circumstances is strictly a matter of evolutionary decision.

You see modern concepts of marriage are based on the satanic lie that man is an animal and that his life and history in this world are the result of evolutionary processes. And as a result of this lie of evolution as it applies to marriage, we have marital and family disaster all over the landscape today. And it all can be traced back basically to the fact that man has believed a lie concerning who he is, his origin and the nature of the marriage institution.

So the first point that we must stress is that it is the word of God that must govern our thinking concerning holy matrimony. It is holy. It is not pagan matrimony.

The second thing that we want to look at and concern ourselves with as we look at Genesis chapter 2 is that marriage is a necessity. Verse 18, the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Now, when God designed the human race, as we read in the first chapter, he created them, created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female he created them. So from the very beginning man was created with the design of marriage. And then this is brought to the fore and emphasized after Adam the first man was created when God said it is not good for the man to be alone.

So it must be emphasized that marriage is the normal and the necessary arrangement institution for the human family and all doctrines today that we hear about which would belittle minimize run down or forestall marriage is contrary to the word of God. It is not good for the man to be alone. He was created for marriage and it is important that we understand that. And yet today many false philosophies are trying to tell our young people that marriage is passe. It is unnecessary. It is very necessary. God has instituted it.

Secondly, let’s look at or thirdly, man’s psychological preparation for marriage. Verses 19 and 20 of our text. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called a living creature that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle, to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.

Many people reading this passage superficially would question, “What in the world does the naming of animals have to do with the holy institution of marriage?” Well, look at it a little more closely. The purpose of God’s command to Adam to name the animals was for him to study animals and thereby discover what was lacking in his own life and experience. He was psychologically prepared through this activity of naming the animals to discover that he was indeed alone, uniquely alone. All the animals had mates, but there he was all by himself with no mates. And so this great need and desire was stirred up in his soul for a mate.

And so he is now psychologically and spiritually prepared to receive a wife. How blessed it is when God puts that desire in a young man’s heart and in a young woman’s heart. That strong desire, that almost irresistible desire to be married. That’s a wonderful gift from God and we should thank God for it.

Fourthly, the creation of a wife for Adam, verses 21 and 22. And so the Lord at this point in his spiritual experience as a unique, lonely, solitary human being, the Lord caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept. Then God took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned and built into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man.

Why did God put him to sleep? Was this an anesthetic? Couldn’t God have performed an operation on a human being in a painless operation without putting him to sleep? I don’t think that’s the reason that’s a common explanation. No, God could have operated on Adam when he was while he was wide awake, fully awake, and without any pain. I think the purpose is to demonstrate that it is God and God alone who created a wife for Adam. God didn’t need any help. God is the creator. He created Adam without any help and he’s going to create Eve without any help from Adam. No, man is never a co-worker or certainly not a co-creator with the almighty God.

Let’s remember these things. It is not nature that creates us. It is almighty God. He has created us male and female without our help. And he saves us too by the way without our help. And so God created the woman just as he had determined and planned from the beginning out of man’s own body. And so it’s important to realize that Eve, this wonderful creature that God built, came from Adam. She is uniquely human just as he was uniquely human. Not an animal, but a human being and made in the image and likeness of God. Just as Adam was created in the image and likeness of God, male and female are alike and equal before the Lord God as unique human beings made in his image and for God’s purposes.

So we should thank God for this wonderful thing that the Lord has done. He’s brought the woman out of the man. A rib. Yes, probably a rib. It says from his side. Literally, the word means the side of Adam. And some have ridiculed this and have made fun of it because men still have the same number of ribs as women today. I’m sure the two sons of Adam had the same number of ribs that Adam was originally created with. That’s not the point. She was created from his substance. She is of the same nature as Adam, her husband.

And we must realize that we are dealing with creatures of our identical nature when we’re dealing with our wives and husbands made in God’s wonderful, marvelous image and to be treated accordingly. The Lord built a woman. Isn’t that wonderful? What a marvelous construction job he did. Built her for life, for work, for mating. And we should thank God for our beautiful bodies and their sensuous appeal to the opposite sex.

Fifthly, the presentation of this wonderful, well-built wife to Adam, verses 22. And when he had taken her from the man, he brought her, God did, to the man. And the man, he’s wide awake at this point. Here’s the first bloody march, by the way. God bringing the wife down the garden trail, garden of Eden, to present her to man. Lonely man. Yeah. And when Adam looked up and saw this marvelous creature walking toward him, he just about went into rapture.

He exclaimed in poetic language, by the way, poetry is meant for love and love for poetry, I guess. He exclaimed, “This creature that I’ve never seen my whole life after studying all the animal kingdom here in this wonderful garden. This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman and that literally in the original is womb man, a creature from the womb of man. So she came, he instinctively knew that she had come from his very body as they were from his womb. Whatever that rib or side portion was that she was made from, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.

Isn’t that a beautiful exclamation poetic exultation that we have described in these two verses? What an example of how a marriage should be looked at if it’s a godly marriage. Good marriages still contain this element of joyful wonder, exalted privilege, unique possession, irresistible attraction and gratitude to God. That’s what happened to Adam at his marriage.

Sixthly, the permanent institution of human marriage is now declared by God as the result of this first marriage. Verse 24, for this cause a man shall leave his father. This is a statement, an institutional statement probably not made by Adam but by God himself through Moses on the basis of what had preceded. For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh. That is God’s description and prescription for the human race. A man is to leave the authority of this parental home, cleave to a wife and a new family unit is established under the authority of God.

And so there is that breaking of authority when a marriage is entered into and a new authority is established under God to be controlled by God. And I’m sure brother Dennis will maybe speak more about that. But now the old ties, the authoritarian ties have been broken and there should be no interference by any in-laws. And that’s a very important point. It’s not that anybody says it. It is that God says that he is to cleave to her. And the word there has the idea of really sticking together like superglue. That’s what God intends for a man and a woman who marry under his authority and guidance and in submission to him.

And so Adam and Eve were originally one flesh in Adam and then Eve was created and now that one flesh relationship is to be pictured through their marriage and that’s the way our marriages are to be too. We are to picture the fact that woman has come out of the man in our marriages. One flesh. That’s what the one flesh concept refers to. The woman came out of the man and in marriage they’re brought back together.

There is to be a unity and a communion such as no other relationship can establish: a communion of life, a communion of spirit, a communion of effort and labor. By the way, what does that helper mean? God saw that Adam needed a helper suitable for him. A wife is to help the man serve God in that garden. Adam needed assistance. He needed a helper. And so every marriage should regard the man as the primary servant of the Lord in whatever his calling is in this world and his wife is to be his closest assistant and helper. What a picture of the teamwork, the yoke that the scriptures speak of in serving the Lord together as man and wife.

The first marriage we read was a holy and shameless event. The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed because they were perfect people having come fresh from the hand of the almighty perfect God. And so our marriages today can only be holy and shameless as they are established in the Lord Jesus Christ as we know him as our Lord and Savior and as our sins are forgiven through the blood of Jesus Christ who is our husband, the head of the church.

Steve and Marge, it is our prayer for you today that so long as you both shall live, you shall be involved with a holy and shameless marriage, a wonderful God-glorifying relationship that will bring glory to your savior and to your friends, to your church, and to all who become acquainted with you. You are to be the witnesses of the Lord now as those who are united in holy matrimony in a very unique way. Thank you. God bless you.

Heat. Heat. Heat up here. Heat up here. Heat up here.

Except the Lord build a house, they labor in vain to build it. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late to eat the bread of sorrows. Lo, children are inherited to the Lord. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. Blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion. Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children.

Wives Submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, even as the Lord, the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverence her husband.

St. Paul in the passage that Roy has just read from addresses a relationship which scripture testifies to in many and diverse passages, that’s the relationship of God’s people to himself and to his Christ. To a relationship which while of great import in God’s scheme of things is given comparatively little individualized instruction: that relationship is of course holy matrimony or marriage.

These verses which are probably the lengthiest exposition of marital duties given in the scriptures teach these duties by way of analogy comparing the marriage relationship itself to the relationship of the church to Jesus Christ. By using this device, Paul and God of course through him distills down to twelve verses what many men have since written thousands upon thousands of books about. We will for the next few minutes look to five specific comparisons that Paul lays out and draws from these comparisons some obvious though very important truths about marriage.

The first comparison is found in verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church. Paul has said in the first chapter of the epistle that we just read from that God quote hath put all things under his, that is Jesus’s feet and gave him to be head over all things in the church which is his body the fullness of him that filleth all in all. Now Jesus came to die and was resurrected to effect the reconciliation of all things the right ordering of the entire created realm.

Paul moves in Ephesians 5 from this summary statement in the first chapter of Ephesians to what Calvin referred to by the way as the restoration of true order and hierarchy. He moves from that then to a specific institution that is to manifest Christ’s reconciliation and restoration of right order. This institution is marriage. This first comparison then teaches the functional headship of the man in the God-ordained order of marriage.

Now the scriptures in many places teach us that man and wife are equal in Christ in essence or being, that is. So the headship of man cannot be based ultimately upon his superiority of essence or of being. While the headship of Christ to the church can be seen in light of his superiority of the creator to his creature. The essential equality of man and wife rules out that as the basis of the comparison of the headships found in this verse.

I think that rather this first comparison brings us straight to the covenantal nature of marriage. Jesus Christ is the covenantal head of the church and the man is posited in these verses as the covenantal head of the marriage relationship. Now the marriage is a covenant is evident from the Genesis passage referred to earlier and from a whole host of other verses, notably Malachi 2:14 in which the Lord declares that the wife is quote thy companion and thy wife thy covenant. The basis then for marriage and for Marge and Steve’s marriage and the necessary starting point of understanding the functional relationships within that marriage is covenant.

Now the second comparison is found in verse 24. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ let the wife be subject to their own husbands in everything. It’s on the basis of the covenantal nature of marriage that the wife is to submit functionally to the husband. Now this is most important, the submission is emphatically not based upon the husband’s superiority as is evident from the other verses of this passage as well as many other scriptures.

Additionally, the submission of the wife is not absolute. Rather, it is based upon the covenantal order that God has established and that Christ has brought reconciliation to. Submission to the husband then is submission to God and his covenant and all the secondary covenants subsumed under the covenant of grace. The wife must—this verse tells us—in everything except of course any decision of the husband that would cause her to violate God’s word.

The wife as is so clearly pointed out in 1 Peter 2 and 3 submits to God ultimately entrusting herself to him and his providence in so ordering the covenant of marriage as to redound to his glory and to her well-being. Now this is a test of the faith of the wife but it’s a test that must be passed or the marriage will shortly find itself shipwrecked upon the rocks of unbelief.

The third comparison is found in verse 25. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. The husband is now addressed as to his general calling in the covenant of marriage. And that calling is to reflect Christ’s self-sacrificial love for the church and his love for his wife. Now, it must be said that the love of Christ for the church is not some kind of pious gush. It is a series of well-defined actions based upon a caring and commitment that is consistent and not prone to emotional binges.

Jesus did not send roses, although that certainly is a good thing to do on occasion. But he loved his wife, the church, in that he gave his very life for her. He did not think of robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, took upon him the form of a servant, was made in the likeness of man, and being found and fashioned as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even the death on the cross.

Men, are you listening to this comparison? This is the love which God and his inspired and commanded word calls us to look up to and to emulate in our marriages. Immediately after establishing the covenantal headship of man, then God goes right to the implications of that headship for the man, which is increased accountability. And notice this word very carefully. Lots of work.

The fourth comparison is found in verse 29. A man is to love his wife as his own body. That is quoting now nourishing and cherishing it even as the Lord the church. In this next comparison with Christ in the church, God builds in the previous one by providing two very practical words instructing the husband as to what the work of love is that he calls the husband to. He tells us to nourish and cherish. Nourish, meaning to bring our wives to the full development in the Lord, to instruct them, to encourage them, to pray with and for them, to bring them to maturity in Jesus Christ, even as we are being matured in the faith.

As Adam tilled the garden, bringing out its potential and heavenizing it as it were, by bringing forth beauty, mining the gems and precious minerals, growing beautiful flowers, etc. As the Levites heavenized the temple and the tabernacle, performing the glorious rites given them as picturing and pointing forward to the heavenly work of our savior in God’s tabernacle or the eternal temple that is giving himself as the offering for our sins as the elders of the church are commanded to nurture and mature the members of the body of Christ by bringing them to full development of their potential and so praying for and working that the church on earth may be as it is in heaven so husbands are to do for their wives.

And so Steve is to do for Marge. And cherish according to the common usage of this particular Greek word of the text meaning to put under one’s wing for protection, for guarding. In other words, Jesus Christ went to the cross that he might nourish us with his body and blood and that he might guard us from the wrath of God taking its full force upon himself as our substitute. Even as Adam was to guard the garden and the Levites were to guard the instruments that they were working with in the temple and tabernacle to keep them holy or set apart for God, as the elders as Christ’s undershepherds are commanded to guard the bride of Christ from false teaching and false practice, so the husband is to guard his wife, laying down, if necessary, his literal life in that endeavor.

In verse 22, we’re told that husbands are to be submitted to by the wife as unto the Lord. Sarah, the mother of the faithful, as Abraham is the father of the faithful, is commended as the picture of the godly wife in 1 Peter 3 because she called her husband Lord. The English word Lord by the way in God’s providence gives us a picture of the nourishing and cherishing of the husband. It comes from two old English words loaf, which was the word for loaf, later became loaf meaning bread, and ward which later became ward or to guard.

Loaf ward—bread and guarding, nourishing and cherishing. Perfect picture. Now, at first glance, to call one’s husband Lord may seem peculiar and maybe even in some people’s minds heretical. But look at the other terms of men in positions of functional command in God’s holy order. Civil magistrates are called kings or rulers. Employers are called masters. Male overseers of children are called fathers. These terms—lord, king, ruler, master, and father—are terms that in the primary sense only apply to God. They’re his terms and his titles.

And so they demonstrate that we are to carry out this function under him. He condescends to let men and women borrow these titles as it were. And so demonstrates to those under their charge that they are appointed by God and must be so revered. And he also in this demonstrates to the one who is given the term. He demonstrates to him that he is to rule for God and in his way, not lord it over as the Gentiles, but serving even as the great master and the King of Kings came to serve and continues to serve us at the right hand of the Father, making intercession for us.

Matthew Henry commenting on Genesis 2:22 and the making of Eve says, and I quote, that the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. The husband who nourishes and cherishes his helpmate that God has given to him fulfills the role of godly Lord of his wife and family.

The fifth comparison is found in verses 31 and 32. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Finally, then the Apostle Paul uses the analogy of Jesus Christ and the church to teach us that as they are one, so man and wife are one. Now, the implications of this are tremendous and can only be touched upon here. But notice the great importance again here of covenant. We have no common flesh with Jesus Christ. We are in union with him by way of covenant. But that shouldn’t be seen as somehow a more base union than one premised upon flesh.

Jesus said that his true brothers and his true mother were those in covenant obedience to him. So Steve and Marge come together into holy matrimony this morning by way of covenant and they become one flesh by that covenant. Water, the substance which God has ordained to be used in holy baptism is thicker than blood in this sense. Covenant ties are stronger ties than flesh ties. And so a man leaves his blood and flesh family and enters into a new covenant family. Marriage with enclosing blood ties is in fact of course prohibited by God’s law as if God is shouting to us that whatever we build here on earth we must build on the basis of covenant not flesh.

As we can understand marriage by way of the covenant relationship between Jesus Christ and his church, so we can also be reinforced in our comprehension of Christ in the church and in our worship of the great God who has brought all this to pass as we witness marriage. So you see, Steve and Marge come forward to enter into the holy covenant of matrimony. Remember that we can see pictured in this marriage the nature of our relationship with Jesus Christ. A relationship in which we are brought into covenant with him through the oath of water baptism, even as Steve and Marge enter into covenant through the oath that they’ll shortly make, signed as it were in the rings that they will exchange.

A relationship in which we are strengthened in the covenant through the Eucharist, a picture and foreshadow of the great and consummated marriage feast of the Lamb. A relationship in which we are protected and nourished in the covenant through the mediation and intercession of Jesus Christ, our covenant head. A relationship in which we are assured of his love because he set aside his glory to shed his blood and so seek and win us. And so we submit to him trusting as he did the just judge who cares for us.

Let’s pray.

Almighty God, we thank you for your teaching on marriage. We thank you Father for the analogy between that and our relationship to Jesus Christ. And we pray, Father, that every husband here would take seriously the words of this text and the clear implications for us, we’d be obedient to that. And particularly, we pray for Steve that as he enters into matrimony, he would be obedient to these truths and so reap your blessings.

And we pray, Father, that all the wives here would be reinforced in their commitment to obey their husbands, to submit to him, submitting ultimately unto you and to your order. We pray, Lord God, your blessing upon each wife here, particularly upon Marge as she enters into holy matrimony that she would understand the necessity of this. Father, we pray your blessing upon us not because of our righteousness, because of Christ’s imputed righteousness as evidenced in our desire to be obedient to your text. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.