Dennis Tuuri

# Sermon Transcript – 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

The sermon scripture is 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8. Please stand for the reading of our King, his word. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8.

Furthermore, then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as you have received of us, how you ought to walk and to please God, so you would abound more and more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that you should abstain from fornication, that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor, not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles, which know not God, that no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter because that the Lord is the avenger of all such as we also have forewarned you and testified.

For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. He therefore that despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.

This time the younger children may be dismissed to their Sabbath schools. Their parents desire that for them.

Well, we’re winding down in our series on the seven deadly sins. And this afternoon, we’re going to address lust again for the second time. And today we’re going to look at the passage we’ve just read and talk about lust and marriage, the relationship of lust, marriage, and the call in the scriptures.

We want to look at the verses we just read to make sure that unhealthy lust is not found in the marriage. This portion of scripture has a context of course and it’s important that we recognize that a little bit.

The book of the first letter to the Thessalonians was written after Paul had planted this church. He only spent about four weeks at Thessalonica. Apparently it was the second church in Europe that Paul had planted.

Thessalonica was the capital of the second of the four great divisions of Macedonia and it later became the capital of the entire province. It’s important—it was very important that is in terms of commerce and it was also very important as a political center as well. As I said, Paul had only spent about four weeks there establishing the church. He had to leave before he had planned to. We’re not exactly sure why.

Timothy and Silas made short visits back to the church that had been established. And after Timothy returned or sent news to Paul of the progress they were making at that church, Paul then apparently was prompted to write this letter back to them and encourage them in the faith. The purpose then was to encourage the young church that was standing firm for God. This was also a church that was beginning to suffer some persecution and the letter sought to encourage them in the face of that persecution.

Then of course to restress some important practical elements in terms of God’s word and how they should live their lives.

The section we just read, 1 Thessalonians 4, beginning at verse one, that begins the instruction and exhortive portion of the letter. The first three chapters are more encouraging, talking about being mutually encouraged in the faith and talking about the great realities of the doctrinal basis for the faith.

And then with chapter four, he switches over to kind of more of a practical. I hate to say the first part isn’t practical—that isn’t the case—but more of an exhortive, instructive portion. And if you look at your outlines briefly, we can just sort of summarize what we’re going to be talking about.

Paul instructs the Thessalonians in this section of scripture how to please God. And he says that in order to please God, we must obey his commandments in every area of life. So our walk must be pleasing to God in obedience to his commandments.

And it’s my belief that the text then talks about two specific areas of the application of God’s commandments to everyday life. The first is a domestic application and in that application he speaks to marriage itself—the obtaining of a marriage mate or a wife—and then secondly he speaks to an economic application in verse six. I know that some have not found verse 6 to be speaking to economics but again continuing in terms of the marriage relationship, but I’ll show a parallel passage later on from Hebrews 13 that I think supports the understanding that most commentators take—that verse six changes to an economic position.

And then he tells them to be—he gives them the positive encouragements to please God in all these things in our domestic life and our marriages and our families and in our vocational calling. And he encourages them to please God. But then he also tells them to be warned that our avenging Lord is present. And so God will avenge those who break these commandments. And then he says that if you ignore these commandments, then you don’t ignore man, you ignore the Holy Spirit who will sanctify us.

And so the overall thrust of this passage is practical and addresses two specific areas: the family and one’s vocational calling.

Now it’s very interesting just as a sidelight here that in spite of Thessalonica’s large importance politically, that area is not necessarily stressed here. That’s an important corrective for many of us. We have to be involved in political action. We’ve seen that in scripture and in other places. But we want to be very careful that we don’t become overbalanced.

If a Christian community properly engages itself in the things we’ll talk about briefly in terms of the family and the vocational calling which we’ll just touch on, then much of the other problems sort of work themselves out. Long-term, the only way to change a culture is through building godly families and also through exercising godly vocational calling. We have political components to it but it isn’t stressed here and that’s a good corrective for us as well to keep in mind.

So let’s look now at a little bit slower pace at this text. In verse one, we read that they’re to please God.

Furthermore, then we beseech you, brothers, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus that as you have received of us how you ought to walk and to please God so you would abound more and more.

So what he’s going to cover here, he has already given to them essentially. He’s already instructed them when he first established the church and he’s telling them now to continue to grow in grace, to abound more and more in these things, and to walk and to please God.

The verse, or the term rather, “to walk” means in every area of your life. And we’ll talk very shortly here about the very intimate area of our lives. And that’s part of our walk as well. And in that area, we’re to be seen to be pleasing God.

Notice in passing here, by the way, that he says that we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus Christ. And he’s going to talk a little bit in a couple of verses here about the commandments given by the Lord Jesus Christ, the sovereign. But he says here two things. Remember, this is the apostle Paul writing. But even he said that he beseeched them and exhorted them. And that’s a very interesting couple of terms there to use.

The New American Standard puts that we request and exhort. And it would be a good thing for us to keep in mind when we counsel people from the word of God and when we counsel members of our family for instance or friends or whatever it is—that we have both of these components in counseling and in instructing and educating our children for instance. We beseech each other, we request, we treat each other with respect, not as slaves, but we also exhort and we remind people of the command word of God that applies to every area of their lives. So those things are good to have in proper balance.

So our walk is to be pleasing to God. And we’re told in verse two that is accomplished through commandment-keeping.

Says we you would abound more and more for ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus.

And here he uses a term for commandments that is a term of order, chain of commands sort of order coming down from the King of Kings, the Lord Jesus through his emissaries, the apostles. He says these commandments have been given to you. And of course the relevance of this to the whole of scripture and the ten commandments is quite important.

Paul had delivered the commandments of God as found in the whole scriptures to this church. And he said if you want to walk pleasing to God then you must walk in obedience to the commandments. No distinction here between law and grace. Grace is seen as administered through law and through commandments which for them to keep.

And then as he said, he talks about two specific areas. The first is this. The first that I will cover is the domestic area.

This is the will of God—your sanctification. And now, that doesn’t mean the will of God is your sanctification. Those are two essentially corresponding terms. This is the will of God—your sanctification. These things. So what he’s going to lay out here in terms of reminding them of specific commandments now about the home and about the workplace is to remind them that this is indeed the will of God and it’s also their sanctification. It’s how they are set apart by God to do his will in all things.

And the first thing he tells them is that they should abstain from fornication. Now there’s a lot of confusion about this term fornication—really unnecessarily. In the scriptures the term adultery is a distinct term. Adultery is what happens when any married person, one party of the marriage unit, engages in sexual relationships outside of marriage. That’s adultery. Fornication is a far broader term. It would include adultery, but it’s not limited to that.

The Greek word for fornication is the same root word for our word pornography. And it’s a good way to think about what fornication is. It’s pornography essentially. It’s any of a wide range of things, none of which we could possibly tend to or try to enumerate, that men can do that are unseemly and against the law of God in terms of the sexual relationship.

And so fornication is a pretty broad definition in the New Testament, but it’s differentiated from adultery. And when we look—when we get to Hebrews 13—we’ll see that differentiation very clearly in that parallel text.

He tells then—I’m going to skip to verse 4. He’s telling them to possess their vessel in verse four, and not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.

And this is the heart of what I want you to see from this text. There is a difference in the marital relationship both in its inception and its development from the Gentiles, or those outside of the word or the knowledge of God and obedience to God. And he tells us that the Gentiles which know not God engage in the lust of concupiscence. Big phrase. It really could be translated the passion of lust.

There are two terms used here that we looked at three weeks ago when we looked at Romans 1. Remember the downward spiral, the slide into hell from Romans 1—failing to give glory to God and thanks to him and as a result of that, God turns him over to sexual perversities. The first term refers to this term that is translated as lust occasionally. It is a word that can have a positive sense to it. That term—we think we mentioned before—for instance, when Jesus said he desired to eat the Passover meal with his disciples, this was the word for desire.

So one half of these two words that are stuck together—the lust of concupiscence—really the second word—is a word that can go either way. More often than not it is a negative connotation against what is prohibited, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that. It can just mean a strong desire.

On the other hand, the first term, pathos, which we talked about from Romans 1, is only used in three places in the New Testament. Romans 1:26 was one of them. Remember we read there three weeks ago. “For this cause, God gave them up to vile affections.” Okay, vile affections was what is the same word that is translated here as lust in conjunction with the lust of concupiscence. Colossians 3:5 is the only other place—from Romans 1 and 1 Thessalonians 4—where this particular Greek word is used. There we read, “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth, fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, and there’s the word, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

A whole series of words talking about in most cases illicit sexual lust, although we can lust after other things.

So the point is here uses a very strong term combining two terms that can be translated lust. And the one always has a negative connotation. The other one can go either way. And what he’s saying is the Gentiles which know not God in their marital relationships are sucked into, as it were, giving over to their desires and going out of control in that way. Passion here means or lust means here uncontrollable sexual desire. The other word which can be positive, as I said, is really kind of brought under this term that means uncontrollable sexual desire.

And so Paul tells the Thessalonians and he tells us—God tells us through the same piece of scripture—that his commandments for the family begin, as it were, and are sort of summed up here in a proper relationship between the husband and wife, which means abstention from lust in the classic definition of the seventh of the seven deadly sins, the inordinate craving and sexual desire that people fall into.

Now, he says this in terms of the beginning of the marriage and in 1 Thessalonians 4:4—in verse four here—he says that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor. So he says abstain from fornication—broad term about sexual morality—know how to possess your vessel in sanctification and honor and not in this inordinate desire and sexual lust and craving.

Now to possess one’s vessel here the word possess actually would be better translated to acquire, I believe. So how to acquire one’s vessel, and here I think the context clearly talks about the vessel being the wife. And so in the marriage relationship you say that beginning of the marriage relationship should not have lust as its central driving element nor in it at all. How to obtain a wife or how to obtain a husband is through this process of sanctification and honor as opposed to the lust of concupiscence or fornication.

Okay. So here’s how to get a wife, how to find a mate. And this has very strong application to our children in this church as they mature into young men and women. It’s quite important that we give them the practical commandments and instructions found in this portion of God’s holy word.

The strength of the passion must be acknowledged by us and taught to our children. They may feel that they’re very able to resist the lust of concupiscence. But the scriptures are replete with warnings to flee from any opportunity for these things to occur. The scriptures are clear that we are weak in these areas and our children are weak in these areas and the last thing God wants our children to do is to enter into marriage basically because of this drive for sexual gratification.

So it’s very important, as we said several weeks ago, that one not believe himself wiser than Solomon, more devout than David or stronger than Samson. And so not to take this warning lightly. God has not given us these passions to drive us into marriage. That’s a very important point. God does not give us the sexual urge to drive us into marriage. That’s what this verse says you should not be doing. When you’re going into marriage, it should not be for the primary purpose of satisfying sexual urges or lust.

Rather, he says you’re to obtain a mate in sanctification and honor. So you might ask, well, you know, is he just writing to a congregation of single people? No. The point is that the marriage relationship is described at its inception as being one not essentially based on lust, but rather based upon sanctification and honor. If that’s the beginning of the marriage relationship, the whole point of this is that should permeate the marriage relationship from then on. And so lust should be absent from the marriage’s continuance as well as the marriage’s inception. Correct beginnings are given here so that the marriage might proceed in the correct fashion.

Lensky commenting on this verse is that every Christian is to know how to act in the matter of sex so as to be pleasing to God. Now this is sort of—I guess this is a little bit of a—you know, I’ve talked about how John Calvin, those of you who read some of his sermons, he would say well this here, but then on the other hand this here.

God lays out these parameters and we then veer off this way and it be easy to veer away from sexual relationships at all and to think of them as unhealthy or unclean. We’ve just had a series of sermons on the Song of Solomon from Reverend Schaeffer. Most of us were at family camp that says, “No, that’s not right. We should think of these things as good.” And then we could veer off the other way and think that everything’s okay in terms of the marriage relationship.

And what I’m trying to say today is that lust is not a phenomena simply found in single people or in homosexuals or in adulterous people. Lust can be and frequently is found within the marriage relationship itself. In fact, Paul says that the Gentiles outside of the church—they know nothing about how to have proper sexual relationships in marriage. They are driven by the lust of concupiscence. So it’s very important we recognize these things.

Every type of fornication, that broad definition, is excluded from the marriage relationship. That’s what God’s commandment to us is. The marriage bed, we are told in the book of Hebrews, is to be undefiled. Its whole relationship is intended to be regulated, cleansed, purified, and kept from stained by God’s word and ministered to us by the Holy Spirit. So our marital relationships, even their physical aspect, are addressed by God.

As we said, we move right to some very intimate aspects here, and it shows the practicality of God’s word, and it shows the overall devotion that we’re to have to God in every area of our lives.

What do we do? How do we apply this text? How shall we avoid doing what is prohibited by this text? Well, remember he said that to please God in your walk, you follow his commandments. So it’d be good to look at the law of God.

In Exodus 20, the seventh commandment, we are told not to commit adultery. Without going into a lot of detail, I will read the Westminster Catechism question on the seventh commandment. And if you have a catechism with proof texts, it’d be very good for you to go through these verses. And the proof text all these understandings of what they believe the seventh commandment relates to.

Question: What are the duties required in the seventh commandment?

The duties required in the seventh commandment are chastity in body, mind, affections, words and behavior. That’s a great place to start. If you have chastity in body, mind, affections, words, and behavior, that will lead you into the rest of what they’re going to be saying here—and the preservation of it in ourselves and others, watchfulness over the eyes and all the senses, temperance, keeping of chaste company, modesty and apparel, marriage by those that have not the gift of continency, conjugal love and cohabitation, diligent labor in all our callings, shunning all occasions of uncleanness, and resisting temptations thereunto.

What are the sins forbidden in the seventh commandment? The sins forbidden in the seventh commandment, besides the neglect of the duties required, are adultery, fornication, rape, incest, sodomy, and all unnatural lust. All unclean imaginations, thoughts, purposes, and affections. Very important. Again, we learn to control our mind within the marriage relationship as well. All corrupt or filthy communications or listening thereto.

So if you hear dirty jokes, get out of the company of people that tell such things. Wanton looks. Impudent or light behavior, immodest apparel, prohibiting of lawful and dispensing with unlawful marriages, entangling vows of single life, undue delay of marriage, having more wives or husbands than one at the same time, unjust divorce or desertion, idleness, gluttony, drunkenness, unchaste company, lascivious songs, books, pictures, dancing, stage plays, and all other provocations to or acts of uncleanness either in ourselves or in others.

Much is summed up in the seventh commandment not to commit adultery.

Let’s consider briefly one specific aspect in which God regulates the physical side of the marriage relationship. Turn to Leviticus 20 if you would in your Bible. Leviticus 20, reading around verse 18.

Now the context of this, up in verse 9 for instance, as we have somebody that curses father and mother should be surely put to death. Verse 10 of Leviticus 20—these are all the—this is part of the holiness code, the law of God as it applies to practical life. There’s a listing here of moral sins.

Verse 10: if there be a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, adultery with his friend’s wife, etc.

Verse 11: a man who lies with his father’s wife.

Verse 12: a man who lies with his daughter-in-law.

Verse 13: a man who lies with a male as one who lies with a woman. Homosexuality, sodomy.

Verse 14: if a man who marries a woman and her mother is mother, it is immorality.

Verse 15: bestiality. A man who lies with an animal, he surely be put to death.

Verse 16: if a woman engages in bestiality death penalty again.

And then in verse 17: a man who takes his sister, his father’s daughter, his mother’s daughter, he sees her nakedness, it’s a disgrace. They shall be cut off in the sight of the people.

Then in verse 18: if there’s a man who lies with a menstruous woman and uncovers her nakedness, he has laid bare her flow, and he’s exposed the flow of her blood. Thus both of them shall be cut off from among the people.

And he goes on with other sorts of sins that he relates to as well.

Now here is a very practical application of God’s word, but which is seldom heard today or taught either in counseling or from the pulpit. And this shows us quite clearly that God gives us specific commandments and regulations relative to the walk that we have in our marriage relationship—how to be pleasing to God in that relationship.

Now it’s important for me to point out here that this text says that these are to be cut off—that is, excommunicated from the body. Now it’s important here to point out that earlier in Leviticus, if this to occur accidentally, it’s simply a ceremonial uncleanness and has no moral penalty associated with it. What we’re dealing with in Leviticus 20 are people that actively attempt to engage in this sort of behavior. It is a deliberate act and as such it is in violation of God’s law and strong moral penalties are applied to it.

Lensky referred to this sort of action on the part of married couples as one which leads to a sickened land and a revolted nature. Verse 22 of this text talks about the land spewing such a people out.

Now it’s interesting in relationship to all this to look at Ezekiel 18. In Ezekiel 18 you read a definition of a man who is just. We read in verse 5 of Ezekiel 18: If a man is just and do that which is lawful and right. And then he gives some specifics.

If he hasn’t eaten upon the mountains, neither have lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, neither hath defiled his neighbor’s wife, neither hath come near to a menstruous woman, and hath not oppressed any, but hath restored to the debtor his pledge, hath spoiled none by violence, has given his bread to the hungry, etc., etc.

So in Ezekiel 18, one of the definitions of a just man according to the word of God—one who would please God—is one who does not come near to a menstruous woman. And this is obviously talking about the marriage relationship as well. Very important.

By the way, it’s also interesting to note here that he goes right from that section in verse 7 to talk about oppressing any, restoring to the debtor his pledge, talking about economic violations. Again, Ezekiel looks at the marriage relation, looks at idolatry first, then the family, the marriage relationship, and then at commerce. Same way that in 1 Thessalonians, our text, he moves from the family to commerce in looking at practical commandments to teach them how to please God.

Commenting on this text from H.H. Ellison had some good comments on this text which I will read.

The fact is that the popular modern conception of the individual is derived from Greek thought rather than from the Bible and may even be regarded as anti-biblical. We tend to think of our bodies giving us our individuality and separating us one from the other. In the Old Testament—a word for body hardly exists in Hebrew—it is our flesh that binds us to our fellow man, rather than separating us. It binds us to our fellow man. It is our personal responsibility to God that gives us our individuality.

Since man—Adam—is bound to the ground, Adamma, from which he was taken, and through it to all who live on the same ground, he cannot help influencing them by his actions. Abominable conduct thus causes the land to sin. Deuteronomy 24:4.

That’s why drought, pestilence, earthquake, etc., are for the Old Testament the entirely natural punishment of wickedness. If a man dwelt in a polluted land, he cannot help sharing in its pollution. The chief terror of exile was not that the land of exile was outside the control of Jehovah, a view that was probably held by very few, but rather that exile occurred in an unclean land.

And so this relationship between these sorts of actions and the land spewing people out and between these sorts of actions, drought, pestilence and other meteorological judgments by God on the land.

So here we have a very practical aspect again pointing out in Leviticus and Ezekiel that God judges such sin. There is an avenger who sits in judgment.

Turn to Ezekiel 22. Ezekiel 22. And this is another very important text in light of what we’ve said about this particular sort of sin. And he’s talking here about the sins of Jerusalem and the punishment for them. This is why God’s judgment comes upon the land. And he lists various things that they’ve done wrong.

He says, for instance, verse 7: You’ve treated father and mother lightly within you—within Jerusalem, that is. You’ve oppressed in your midst the fatherless and the widow. They have wronged in you. You have despised my holy things, profaned my Sabbaths.

Slanderous men have been in you for the purpose of shedding blood. In you they have eaten at the mountain shrines. In your midst they have committed acts of lewdness. In you—that is in Jerusalem—they have uncovered their father’s nakedness. In you they have humbled her who is unclean in her menstrual impurity. And one has committed abomination with his neighbor’s wife, and another has lewdly defiled his daughter-in-law, and another of you has humbled his sister, his father’s daughter.

And the point of those passages is to show you the context for the restriction on certain aspects of the marriage relationship. And the context are these terrible sins.

Notice here also that he says that the result of a man approaching his wife in the menstrual period is to humble her. So what I take from that, combining with the text from Leviticus that talked about if couples engage in this they’re to be cut off, is that this could come about either through the insistence of the husband or by mutual consent, and both would be wrong. Very important for us to recognize that the humbling of the wife may be part of this aspect.

For some the physical side of marriage is associated with being naughty or unlawful. The very illegality of certain actions is what makes it attractive to the pagan, to the Gentile. That’s what drives them into the lust of concupiscence, to the unclean who have rejected God and his law.

For others, they are simply swept away in the lust of concupiscence, the raging passions to which desire yields all.

So in other words, some people may engage in this particular form of fornication within the marriage relationship—this particular form of lust in the marriage relationship—simply through the husband being driven on into this lust, exercising no control over himself through the power of the Holy Spirit. And that case would lead to the humbling of the wife.

On the other hand, couples may mutually consent, but it is still wrong. It is still unlawful. It’s still a violation of God’s word. To both, God’s word of condemnation is clearly stated in scripture in very strong terms.

When the physical dimension of marriage takes on this aspect, one of revolt against God, against the honor of the other person, or simply an unbridled desire apart from the control of the Holy Spirit, it is fornication within the marriage. It is lust as found in the marriage bed and it is a deadly sin.

In opposition, however, Paul goes on to exhort them from the positive side. God gives as well as warnings against violation of his commandments. He gives a positive demonstration of what we should be doing as well.

And so verse 4 says that so that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and in honor. Instead of lust and concupiscence, we have sanctification and honor.

Sanctification means to be simply set apart to please God. And this is accomplished by God himself by calling us his covenant people. He sets us apart and we are to consider ourselves in all that we are and in all of our actions set apart to God. All of our actions then are to be evaluated on the commands of the one who has set us apart for himself and for his purposes.

In terms of the marriage relationship, then one must see in the physical aspect of marriage the need for sanctification—for setting this aspect as well as all others apart unto God—or rather understanding that God has indeed already set it apart unto him to glorify him in. It means to acknowledge the separateness from the world’s perspective of sexuality and instead move to a godly perspective as defined by God’s word and by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We are to be different from the Gentiles.

Secondly, Paul says that not only is sanctification an element of the proper marriage relationship, but so is honor. Honor is a proper evaluation. Usually means money in the New Testament, not always. To properly evaluate something is to give it honor and weight, measurement. And as sanctification is a reminder that we have duties to God in our marriage, so honor is accomplished in the sight of men and in the sight of our marriage partner.

Men should see our marriages in inception and then throughout the marriage relationship as honorable. Again to quote from Lensky, he says that in a clean commendable way, our marriages should be seen without the least cause of scandal. Whereas the one who engages in sexual relations with his wife in violation of God’s law humbles her and dishonors her, we are called instead to be honorable in this area of our lives and to honor our wives.

1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as under the weaker vessel.”

You see, the picture here is certainly we have the admonition in scripture that our bodies aren’t our own. Then in the marriage relationship, we are not to abstain from the physical side of that. But the greater context for all those sort of statements is that we are not to see our mate as our possession to be dominated. That’s precisely the wrong thing. Instead, we’re to be giving honor and respect and sanctification to our mate in the marriage relationship.

Now it’s interesting that in 1 Peter 3:7, we talk about later in 1 Thessalonians 4, the avenging Christ who is watching all this. 1 Peter 3:7 says, “If you don’t do this, if you don’t honor your wife as a joint heir together of the grace of life, then your prayers are hindered.”

And so that’s part of the judgment of God upon people who would do that.

Now on this side, as on the negative side, the marriage relationship and its inception—the courtship in other words—should not be dominated or driven by lust. So also on the marriage’s beginning, on the positive side, it should be—the courtship should be characterized by sanctification and honor. And again, this has tremendous relevancy for our children and teaching them of proper courtship.

Not only is the passion that leads to desire outside the context of biblical, Holy Spirit-guided marriage and to be avoided, but all fornication and unseemly acts should also be seen as outside it. The courtship is to be a time for development of sanctification and honor, not a time of the development of the physical aspect.

Prayer should accompany the courtship, acknowledging God’s presence in the courtship and beseeching his presence in the marriage relationship that has moved into as well. And committing all these things to him, acknowledging that it is set apart for his glory first and our enjoyment second. And the courtship should be honorable, as we said, in the sight of men and each other. And so we should be very circumspect in how we act, not to dishonor the marriage relationship in the very process of courting and behaving unseemly.

Of course, if that’s true in terms of how to obtain a mate, it’s also true of our relationship from then on.

Titus 2:12 says that teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world. So we deny ungodliness and instead we have godliness in our marriage. We deny worldly lust and instead move soberly and righteously. Righteously is justly in obedience to God’s law. Soberly means under the power of the Holy Spirit, not under the power of our sexual lust in this particular case.

So Paul says very practical instructions here for keeping lust out of the marriage relationship and keeping sanctification and honor in the marriage relationship. Now again there’s proper desire obviously and enjoyment of sexual relationships in the marriage relationship, but the lust of concupiscence—lust is one of the seven deadly sins—is to be kept far away from the marriage relationship.

Now I’ll mention briefly that as I said, he goes on to talk about in verse 6 the economic aspect. No man go beyond and defraud his brother. And I said that I’d just briefly point out why I believe that by looking at a parallel passage in Hebrews 13. Really, this is just to briefly point out the relationship to the economic side. But again, it helps reinforce what we’re saying here as well in terms of marriage.

In Hebrews 13, we have again a section beginning where very practical instructions to a church. And he begins by saying, “Let brotherly love continue.”

Now it’s interesting there that I didn’t read verse 9 of 1 Thessalonians 4. We stopped at verse 8. Verse 9 goes on to say, “But touching brotherly love, ye need not that I write unto you.” So he talked about marriage and family, talked about economic relationships in terms of greed and covetousness. And then he talked about brotherly love. He said, “You’re doing real good there.”

Here in Hebrews, he begins with brotherly love. Verse 1, let brotherly love continue. And then he defines what that means in a couple of verses. And then down to verse 4, marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

So he does the same thing: brotherly love, marriage. And then in verse 5, let your conversation, your walk, all of your Christian life be without covetousness and be content with such things as you have.

And so I think there’s a parallel there to verse 6 of 1 Thessalonians 4. Don’t go beyond, don’t be covetous toward your neighbor’s possessions. Don’t grasp out and defraud your brother in any manner. God will avenge these things.

And so the same thing’s true in Hebrews 13. We have brotherly love and then the admonition about marriage and then the admonition to be without covetousness and to be content in what you have. This relationship is one that could be developed much further.

This relationship between adultery on one hand or fornication and covetousness or theft. And of course those two commandments are linked as well—the seventh and eighth commandments in God’s ten commandments. Don’t commit adultery. Don’t steal. And so you’ll see that pattern repeatedly in the scriptures and here in the epistle as well—those two things put together.

And if you think about it, both of them is a failure to be content with the relationships God has given us—possessions here and then the definition of what the marriage relationship is to be physically on this side. Both things are a failure to be content and to thank God for those things. And also you see in both aspects unhealthy lust and covetous desire for possessions. In both of those things you see a desire to accommodate somebody else. You want your neighbor’s possessions.

I would say one of the clearest indicators in your own lives, in your marriage relationship, if lust is present in the physical side, is your motivation. If you’re out to achieve your own good ends and your own pleasures and your own purposes, you’re dominating the other person for your purposes. And now you’re back to that autoerotic role that we looked at three weeks ago from Romans 1, where really you may be in the marriage relationship with your wife, but eventually you’re by yourself in your mind.

So both things are linked in that way.

Alfred commenting on this passage from Hebrews 13 says, “Let your marriage be held in honor in all things. In all things if we honor the marriage relationship and our marriage partners, we will be refrained from bringing lust into it.”

Fornicators there in Hebrews 13 is that same term for fornication. It has a specific male—it’s the male word for a fornicator. And it means that same thing we’ve been talking about.

And by the way, here in Hebrews 13, you see those two things differentiated: fornicators and adulterers, God will judge. Fornicators and adulterers. And he’s talking in the context of the marriage relationship. So it seems to me that he’s saying within the marriage relationship, you’re going to have adultery existing outside when you’re going to other with other people’s mates. Or you can have fornication within the marriage relationship itself with one another.

Calvin on this passage said that God promises punishment not only to adulterers but to all kinds of fornicators because both depart from the holy ordinance of God and indeed violate it and overturn it by their promiscuity, since there is only one lawful union which is approved by the name and by the authority of God.

The addition about the undefiled bed, I take said Calvin, to mean that those joined in marriage should know that they cannot do what they please but that the use of the lawful marriage bed ought to be moderate so as to admit nothing that is contrary to the modesty and chastity of marriage.

And that’s really what we’re talking about this afternoon.

Now the motivation here, we said it was positive. It also goes to God’s wrath. He says in verse 6, at the end of that verse, the Lord is the avenger of all such as we have also forewarned you and testified.

Chrysostom says that God does not avenge the person who has been wronged so much. God avenges himself. Sin is ultimately against God first and man only secondly. So lust in the marriage relationship is a sin against God first and then secondly against your mate.

The source of lust in marriage must not be forgotten. It is the movement away from God in one’s religious life, a failure—as Romans 1 pointed out to us—to glorify him as God and to give thanks. God gives such men who fail to glorify him over to degrading passions and that can occur in the context of the marriage relationship.

Murray commenting on that passage from Romans 1 that we talked about three weeks ago said that there’s the positive infliction of handing over to that which is wholly alien to and subversive of the revealed good pleasure of God. God’s displeasure is expressed in his abandonment of the persons concerned to more intensified and aggravated cultivation of the lust of their own hearts with the result that they reap for themselves a correspondingly greater toll of retributive vengeance.

Point of that is that if you want to avoid lust in your marriage life, you’ve got to focus first upon the person of God and your relationship to him. It’s when we fail to do that, it’s when we fail to think biblically about all things, it’s we fail when we fail to thank God and to glorify him as God that God turns us over to these passions to remind us of the judgment that comes upon us.

Whereas God’s courts of justice may be out of joint, the Lord who issues the orders that we are violating these commandments, he is always on duty to enforce them through his judicial activities in the life of men and women.

Verse 7, For God hath not called us to uncleanness, but unto holiness. He therefore that despiseth not man but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.

Self-worship leads to self-satisfaction or an unsuccessful attempt at it in sexual relationships. Self-worship leads to autoeroticism. But the worship of God leads to a caring for one’s mate in the physical aspects of marriage, to a desire to honor God and man in this vital aspect of our lives.

Romans 1 told us of a downward spiral that began at the failure to worship God as God in all of our lives with the Christian worldview. That downward spiral exists not just for the homosexual, but for the heterosexual monogamous man or woman who fails to yield the body to God, who fails to acknowledge his sanctification of the physical aspect of marriage.

I saw when Morton Downey Jr.’s show was on several years ago, I saw a gal that was on there who was one of these girls in these dial-a-porn services they have. And she said that they were instructed by the management of the particular company to always talk the man into going into some other thing in his head further than what he would like to do to continue a downward slide away from what you might see as orthodoxy in sexual relationships.

Point is that there’s an increasing attempt to have people break rules to give themselves over to these passions because then that downward spiral sucks them in and they get perverser and perverser, and God’s judgment turns them over more and more, and then the dial-a-porn company of course makes a lot of money out of all this.

The same attempt to break the rules to engender the passion that all desires lead us onto in this case can occur in the marriage relationship as well.

We live in a world today much like the world at Thessalonica—pagan, political and economic hub cities such as this one was are always seemingly in history, apart from Christian influence, cesspools of lust and greed. Both urges of power, control, and domination. Our world is no different today. On all hands, on all sides, we see the pagans who can’t get no satisfaction, having denied the only true source of satisfaction.