Dennis Tuuri

Please stand for the reading of God’s word. Genesis 4:1. Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain and said, “I have acquired a man from the Lord.” Let’s pray. Father, I do ask that you would help me, Lord God, with sensitivity and discernment and yet with the clarity of your scriptures as we approach this somewhat difficult topic of the sexual results of the fall. Help us Lord God to attend to your word and transform our lives. In Christ’s name we ask it. Amen. Please be seated.

Well, we’ve had a very marked transition, have we not? From summer to fall. Indian summer lasted the entire month of September for the most part. Last day of September, beautiful day. First day of October, here comes the clouds and then the rain and then the torrential rain. And can be last night. I don’t know. They were talking about tornadoes and stuff. Shingles are being ripped off of roofs.

I don’t know. It was quite a sight in Canby yesterday evening. But in the providence of God, you’re probably here then kind of moving into the fall season. A little tired the way we get when the rains come. Want to just curl up in front of the fire with a good book. So, I’ve got a difficult job: keep you awake. But we’ve got a topic in the providence of God that will make you squirm somewhat. Others will make you interested perhaps, maybe not in a good way. We’ll see how it goes.

Our topic is sexual results of the fall. And this kind of completes this section of Genesis. We really wanted—I spent a number of months in Genesis 2 and 3 talking about implications of the creation and then the fall of man from Genesis 2 and 3 for our marriages. And I wanted to close off that section with this verse on how Adam knows his wife.

Now what I’m planning on doing in the future is kind of continuing on through the rest of the Bible, not covering every chapter, but moving ahead now with some more sermons on marriage.

Now next week I’m going to go on actually and stay in Genesis 4 and deal with Cain and Abel and then use that to talk about the maturation of Christian children in the home—kind of an expanded version of the talk I gave to the teens at family camp. So that’s next week. The following week, I’m planning an election day sermon. I try to do that every year where we talk about some matter of public policy from the scriptures. That’s a very old tradition in America that I think is a good one. So I’m going to talk about theft on October 18th. At least right now the plan is theft and political action will be my election day sermon.

And then we’ll come back to Genesis 4 to talk about Lamech and his two wives, Ada and Zilla, and talk about polygamy and power. So, having moved from these kind of foundational stuff in Genesis 2 and 3 about what marriage is all about, we’ll then look at some other marriages as we go through. We’ll look at Lamech and his two wives, the beginning of polygamy, and then we’ll look at Abraham and Sarah in the weeks following that. All kind of looking at some of these patterns, working our way up to a fuller exposition of the New Testament texts on marriage. So, that’s kind of the plan.

But in a way, this verse sort of ties off this section of chapters 2 and 3 and this first half of verse 1, and we’ll talk about that in a little bit. This bracketing that goes on here. Well, actually, I’ll mention it now. Last time I talked, we talked on the expulsion from the garden. You remember after God sentences Adam, immediately after that, we have this what I believe is a statement of profession of faith on Adam’s part where he names his wife Eve, mother of all living. Then we have this expulsion narrative where they’re kicked out of the garden.

And then we have this next statement. Now Adam knew his wife Eve and she conceived and bore a son and she named him Cain, saying, “I’ve gotten a man from the Lord with the help of the Lord.” And so there’s I believe that Eve’s proclamation here—now there’s differences on this, but I believe her proclamation, her conception should be tied back to God’s sentence upon them that indeed there’d be pain in conception and childbearing. But you know, if she persevered, seed would come and deliverance would come from the serpent who now had a position of antagonism with the woman’s seed.

So I believe that we can look at both Adam’s assertion and the naming of his wife and then Eve’s speech where she says, “I’ve gotten a man from the help of the Lord”—both as statements of profession of faith. And they bracket that exclusion part of the text where they’re kicked out of the garden. They’re kicked out, but they’re robed up and they’re professing faith in the coming redeemer. And so this kind of ties off that section.

Now, the text says that Adam knew Eve. And you probably most of you know this already, but it’s very important to consider when the Bible comes around to talking about sexual relationships between Adam and Eve and then later in other parts of the scripture between men and wife, it uses this word “know.” And this is the same word that’s used to know something or to exercise authority over something. But it basically means to come to an understanding or discernment of something or someone.

So right away hopefully we’ll see the big implications of this text. And if you’re going to fall asleep the rest of the talk, just remember this much: sexual relationships in the context of marriage are an intimacy based upon a knowledge of the wife. It’s not an isolated act. It involves the whole knowledge of one’s wife. Okay? So in other words, it brings us away from a purely animalistic sort of deal into a Christian deal. This word “know” is never used of the sort of relationships animals have. It’s only used of men.

Okay? It’s important to know this is a covenantal relationship, this idea of a personal knowledge of intimacy and connected committedness to one another in the context of knowing each other in the matter of sexual relationships. As one commentator puts it, the word “know” in the special sense conveys very well the fully personal level of the sexual union. And then as I said, animals don’t do this—animals just simply mate. But people aren’t to simply mate. They’re to have this personal level of what sexual intimacy pictures for us.

Now, this is a topic—sexual relations, whether it’s in marriage or not—that has a great many cautions given to it in the context of the scriptures. We just read some from the Proverbs. Young men, we got a lot of teenage boys now and men now in the context of this congregation. Hear these warnings and hear them well. Have large ears. We are involved in a culture today where there’s going to be many women who will seek to seduce you the way that woman in Proverbs we read of did to the young man who was ensnared by her. You will be tempted.

And unless you think you’re stronger than Samson or more devoted to God than David or wiser than Solomon—now think of that. Samson’s the strongest man. David loves God with all his heart. Solomon is the wisest of all men, save Christ. All point to Jesus Christ. All three of them fell in terms of sexual sin. We must pray for our young men. Pray for the older men, too. But these young men entering into manhood—that God would not severely cripple or derail them through their giving in to sexual sin.

What I want to talk about today is taking that a step further. And young men, the way you acquire a wife, the way you go about possessing a wife in terms of moving towards sexual relationships with your wife and then the way that relationship plays itself out in the context of your married life. That’s what I want to talk about today. And there’s a sense in which—now I know this is not interpretation of the Proverbs that we just read, but there’s a sense in which we create the seductress in our home.

We can—as the covenantal headship relationship that we’ve been given by God is so determinative of what happens in our home—we can create the seductress, the improper woman sexually speaking, by treating her and expecting her to be something that God would not have her to be. So it’s not enough men just to avoid the adulterer. It’s much more important than having entered into marriage to not turn our wives into something in this area of our lives that she should not be. You understand what I’m saying? The same temptation can exist in the context of the Christian home. Improper sexual relationships and kind of creating the very thing we’re supposed to be avoiding.

We just read or sang rather Psalm 14 about how there’s no one good, no not one. We’re all in our Adamic fallen nature prone to sin in this area as in every other area. So let’s examine this. That’s by way of introduction.

And let’s examine now then. First of all, I want to say that sexual relations are not a result of the fall. Now here it’s placed by way of the literary structure. It’s placed at the end of the expulsion narrative for purposes that only God knows. But I think probably one is to give the bookends of this expulsion from the garden—these professions of faith by Adam and the knowledge of Eve in a correct way and then her bearing a son and saying that you’ve got a son of the help of God.

But don’t think it—it does not mean that they didn’t have sexual relationships before the expulsion. Maybe they didn’t. Maybe they didn’t have time that sixth day before they were expelled from the garden or the dawning of the seventh day. Don’t know. But the point is we know that sexual relationships are good and are not part of the fall. How do we know it?

Well, first it’s part of the dominion mandate. You know this, but it’s good to remind ourselves. See, I do this because again, the Greek culture we’ve been raised in the context of and that has so permeated our churches tends to think of the body as a bad deal and sexual relationships as kind of a necessary evil. That is not what they are in the providence of God. They’re a gracious gift from him.

We know this because in our very creation—in the dominion mandate in Genesis 1:26 and 28—God creates man in his image and he blesses them male and female and he says them to be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Have sex is what he tells the married couple Adam and Eve—to fill the earth. It’s part of what you’re supposed to do. It’s not part of the fall.

Secondly, it’s part of the very image of God—male and female created he them. Man is created in community in a covenanted community, but it is a community of the family and in that family sexual relationships are seen as part of this unity, this covenantal unity that man and wife have. And that is part of the very image bearing nature of man and wife. Male and female created he them in his image.

See, sexual relationships are good. They’re based on man’s solitary incompleteness. Remember Genesis 2:18—the Lord God said, “It’s not good for man to be alone. I’ll make him a helper comparable to him, his opposite, so to speak, but a compliment to him.” Sexual relationships are a picture of that complementary nature of men and women. And that’s why either autoeroticism—individual off by yourself sort of stuff—or homosexual acts are such a denial of this need of our incompleteness before God.

Young men, again here, these are temptations that you are prone to: autoeroticism. Avoid it like the plague because that’s what it will bring upon you—the plague. Plague of ill, plague of evil, plague of judgment from God. No, God says, as you begin to become young men and young women, you begin to have some needs. You begin to have sexual drives and urges as you mature toward adulthood. That’s good. But it’s not good to take those things that are given by God to drive you to seek a mate—a Christian husband and wife—it’s not good to use those things illicitly, either with other women or men or in terms of auto or self-gratification. Avoid it like the plague. Okay.

The sexual urge is not a bad thing. It is a good thing. It is given to drive you. What does it say? Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave—be joined to his wife. So the wives are given men. You’re supposed to have that going on. But the purpose of that and its proper fulfillment is seeking a godly wife.

So it’s based—sexual relationships are good based on men’s solitary incompleteness. That’s the way God wants it. He made you half a person. And fourth, it is a gracious and good gift of the Lord God. Remember we said that in chapter 2—what in chapter 3 the devil tries to change the language. He drops the term “Lord God” and he just uses the term “God.” God means sovereign. Lord means the covenantal God, the father to you. You’ll be his people. He’ll be your God. He’ll be your father.

And so it is Father God who gives sexual relationships to men and women and says they’re a great thing. They’re part of that original creation. They’re declared good and proper for a wide number of reasons.

However, what this also means is—though he’s father, he’s provided this to us graciously—but he is also God. And just as in every other relationship we have, the sexual relationship is to be mediated by terms of God’s word. So even here in what could be seen as the most private of all areas of human life, we have the law of God giving us specific directions about this area. Do we not? Yes, we do.

Exodus 20, 7th commandment: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” And I won’t enumerate the list now, but if you have the Westminster Larger Catechism, understand the implications of that term as it’s worked out in the case law is broad. Doesn’t just mean don’t sleep with someone else’s wife. It means don’t have inordinate affections. Don’t have the kind of worldly lust that the Gentiles do. We’ll get into some of this stuff in a couple of minutes, but the point is Exodus 20 regulates the sexual relationship of men and women.

And beyond that, I’ve given you a couple of citations here in Leviticus 20 and Ezekiel 18 and 22 that talk specifically about the prohibition of sexual relationships in the context of marriage during the woman’s menstrual cycle. A little Leviticus 20:18. If a man lies with a woman during her sickness—now this is in the Bible. Okay, I you know, like I said, it could make you a little squeamish. I know we got young children here. But if you’re getting your children to read through the Bible, this is part of what they’re going to be reading. And this is what the scriptures say.

If a man lies with the woman during her sickness, that is her menstrual cycle, and uncovers her nakedness, he has exposed her flow—she has uncovered the flow of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from their people. Do you hear that? Both shall be cut off from their people. Strong prohibition.

Now, Leviticus 20, unless you think it’s just one of those Old Testament deals, is in the second half of the book. The second half of Leviticus after the Day of Atonement. All the stuff preceding that is about the priestly people. But after that, the way these laws are addressed broadens out and it’s now—not just the laws, but the addressing of the laws itself reveal that it’s not just the people of Israel, the nation of Israel in Canaan. It’s the God-fearing Gentiles who were with them who were subject to this prohibition.

Therefore, when we read in the book of Acts where they pick up the statements from Leviticus and say it’s binding upon the churches that the messages are given to, remember the council at Jerusalem picks up the instructions from Leviticus and applies them to everybody. It begins in Leviticus 18. The point here is that this passage was applicable to God-fearing Gentiles and I believe it’s still applicable to us today based on the council of Jerusalem. We don’t even need that. But we have the inspired instructions of the council of Jerusalem that these—this holiness code so-called given to the God-fearing Gentiles as well as the special priestly people—are to live their lives in this way.

Now reason I’m stressing that point is that there were some things for Israel in the Old Testament that only they were subject to and the Gentiles weren’t. Gentiles could eat pigs. There was nothing wrong with pigs in terms of health. Gentiles could eat pigs. God’s people couldn’t because she was a separate nation, a priestly nation to minister to the other nations. Okay? So, she was distinctive in her dress. She had to dress a particular way and in her food. Didn’t mean that other kinds of clothes were bad, but it meant for a priest or a priestly member of the priestly nation to act that way. No, that’s not right. You want to be different so that you can minister God’s word as a priestly nation to the Gentiles.

All that’s done away with in Christ. So we don’t have those prohibitions on us as a priestly nation to not eat pork, for instance. But we have the abiding obligations of old covenant law—the ones that were applicable to everyone who believed in Yahweh, the God-fearing Gentiles. And that includes us today. And Leviticus 20 is part of those statements.

Ezekiel 18, we talked about this several times in the last few months, but again in Ezekiel 18 when God is describing the situation of a man who does everything right and then having a son who does everything wrong and saying, you know, it’s not the father’s fault. It’s his job to do something about it. It’s his job if necessary to bring the son forward for excommunication. But remember it describes their perfect conduct. And what does it say in verse 6 of Ezekiel 18? “Nor has he defiled his neighbor’s wife nor approached a woman during her impurity.”

It equates, as it were, adultery and approaching a woman—your wife—during her time of separation. Okay? I mean, that’s the seriousness it places upon it. And that’s why the Westminster divines can look at the seventh commandment and say it prohibits adultery, but it means a lot more than that because texts like this tell us that really the whole sexual relationship is to be regulated by God’s word. And when it isn’t in the area of the menstrual period, you know, it’s a violation of the seventh commandment. It’s a violation of the commandment against adultery.

Now, one other point I want to make about this real quickly is that during that period of time, the Bible does not expect the husband to act coldly toward his wife. That’s not the point of the text. You know, this is a time of meditation upon the effects of the fall, the obvious implications of that in terms of the menstrual cycle. It’s a time for prayer. I believe that when we read in the New Testament, it’s okay not to have sexual relationships for a period of time of prayer and fasting. It may be referring to that particular time of the month. And it should be a time when men should be particularly in prayer for their wives.

We know the emotional swings that they’re prone to in the providence of God in terms of the way he made them. And we know that it’s not an idea to come apart from each other and just be in complete isolation. It should be a time of sensitivity to one’s wives. Okay? But that’s not the purpose of today’s sermon. The purpose of the text I’ve read is this area is regulated by God’s word. It’s the gift of Father Sovereign and Father Sovereign is sovereign over this area as well. And he tells us in very explicit terms in these case laws that indeed this area is regulated by his law. It is a mediated relationship as all of our relationships are to our wife. It is mediated through God and through his word.

Now, so it’s good, but it’s mediated. And then the second point of the outline is that the result of the fall is that things are worse now. It’s tougher now to engage in proper sexual relationships after the fall. Rather obvious, but let’s think through why or how this works its way out.

Outline point number two. A: because of our drive for autonomy, husbands and wives are prone to abstain from sexual relations or engage sinfully in them. Okay. Now, this is a result of the fall. What is the fall? Man wants to be God. “You can be as God determining for yourself good and evil.” So, in our fallen Adamic state, we want to be God. God has no needs. God is independent. God is self-sufficient. And so young men grow up and listen as I did to songs like “I Am a Rock” by Simon and Garfunkel. And that’s what we think it should be like. Particularly if we get a little self-pity going on, then we find ourselves in isolation and we can tough it out.

Not thinking—but really what we’re reflecting there is the image of Adam. The fallen Adamic nature that we have—the goal of fallen man who claims to be God is self-sufficiency. And in light of that love of autonomy, the marital relationship is denied. You don’t have need for one another.

See, so in our fallen states, we tend to abstain from relationships because sexual relationships and the sexual drive and urge itself is a challenge head-on from God to this foolish and sinful self-sufficiency that we like to assert.

Let me quote from a commentary called “In the Beginning” dealing with the first few chapters of the book of Genesis. “But above all, sexuality engraves in the flesh of man and woman their purpose in God’s design, their being each for the other. Sexuality preaches the message. It is not good that the man should be alone and seeks to open up existence for him. The message is directly contrary to the fundamental desire of sin, which is autonomy and self-sufficiency. Man”—now he’s talking about the context of man’s hiding themselves or putting clothing upon themselves, loin cloths—”and he says this: ‘Man wishes to hide the power of sexuality which opposes his project of godlike autonomy and which he cannot master.’”

So it’s an area of frustration to men because they want to be self-sufficient. Now, it’s not an area of frustration if you joyfully accept the idea that it’s not good for man to be alone and that therefore our marital relationships are a good thing from God. But in our fallen Adamic state, we’re prone to wander. Lord, I feel it. And we’re prone to wander as men and women in terms of isolating ourselves from the sexual relationship.

This is particularly true, as I said before, in the context of the church that has grown up with a lot of Greek ideas. I know I stress this a lot, but because it’s a big deal—you know, when things are dicey in the relationship, marital relationships can cease. They can pull back from them and people can have this vision of self-sufficiency which is a lie—and to buttress that vision of self-sufficiency they can say the sexual act itself is somewhat displeasing to us. There’s something dirty about it. There’s something not good about it. All of which is untrue as we said from the first point of the outline.

So it’s real important men and women that we don’t do this. The scriptures think it’s so important and that we’re so prone to do this that Paul gives us very specific instructions against it. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive one another except with consent, mutual consent. In other words, your body’s not your own. He says, “For a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Couples that do not engage in regular and frequent sexual activity as a marital couple place temptations in front of each other. That’s what this text says. This text is a command to engage in sexual relationships on a regular basis. I believe that to be the case. And I believe it to be the case because we have a tendency in Adam for isolation, to pull back and to sin by means of isolating ourselves from our mates and the supposed need for our mates in sexual relationships.

So, it’s a sexual result of the fall. Remember, and we’ve got I guess several subpoints here that basically just sum up some of our sermons from Genesis 2 and 3: We seek to determine for ourselves good and evil. We either abstain from sexual relationships because we want to be self-sufficient, or we engage in them in an improper way, deciding we don’t want the Holy Spirit and God’s word to regulate this area. We’re going to decide for ourselves what the best way to do this is. That’s our Adamic nature. That’s our tendency. We got to know it to fight against it.

We talked about sin, fear and alienation. And we talked in the connection with that Adam moves from poetry to accusation against his wife and he says the woman made me do it. All of these things show that with the results of the fall, relationships between husband and wife become difficult. We tend to blame our wives. Wives tend to blame something else. Alienation and fear breaks into our lives as a married couple. And so we tend to pull back or engage improperly.

“Every sentence in pain I’ll multiply pains in your conception.” There’s a barrier then and women—you know—have pain occasionally and this is part of God’s way of dealing with the whole thing. The idea is not to forsake then having children because it’s tough to have them but to persevere through the pain. If she continues in childbearing she’ll be saved. The scriptures tell us her primary role and out of every individual woman but of women in general. Okay.

Because of these effects of the fall, we tend to move in terms of isolation and either pull back from sexual relationships improperly or engage improperly. Adam’s sentence might not seem obvious, but you know, if it’s tough to work, you know, I’ll bet you number of the men here today are tired because work is hard and the older you get, the tireder you get. Work is tough. It’s thorns and thistles. It’s not just plucking fruit off the tree anymore and going downstream with that beautiful culture. God has changed all of that because of our sin. And he wants us to meditate on that fact.

The end result of that is that when we come home, we’re not the most considerate guys in the world. We’re more in the mood now because of the tendency of our age as well to say, “I’ve done enough work for everybody else. I’m coming home. I’m not going to work for my wife. Now I’m going to expect something from my wife.”

See, selfishness is related because the fatigue of work itself and the frustrations of work too often cause men to refrain or to engage in sexual relationships in an improper way. Self-centeredness means to an improper end. In other words, if all we want is our view of what we want out of sexual relationships, the whole point of sexual relationships is to know the other person, to give to the other person, to be sacrificing for the other person. And instead, if we’re getting out of it for our own selfishness, we can also tend to use sexual relationships as a means to a particular end. Okay?

Secondly, then B: husbands and wives are prone in their Adamic nature to engage in the lust of concupiscence, to seek the forbidden or be carried away to excess.

Turn to 1 Thessalonians 4 if you would please. As you’re turning, I’ll just tell you that 1 Thessalonians 4 in the context of the outline of that epistle begins the practical section, so to speak—the section containing commands and instructions for continued growth in Christ. So it’s kind of like the practical section and this practical section has an introductory statement and then it goes in verse three into sexual relationships.

It moves into terms of it moves in terms of justice and dealing with brothers and growth and brotherly love as the text moves on to verses 9 and 10. But the point here is that this whole section of practical application in terms of sanctification shows the importance of this area of our lives in our sanctification process. Okay.

“Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort you in the Lord Jesus”—beginning at verse one of 1 Thessalonians 4—”that you should abound more and more just as you receive from us how you ought to walk and please God.” Everyone should be asking themselves, how can I best please God? As Christians, that’s what we should be thinking self-consciously at times, making plans. How can we please God today in various areas of our lives?

And then specifically verse two: “For you know what commandments we gave you through the Lord Jesus. We please God by listening to the commandments that Christ has given us in his word.” And what are these commandments? “For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you should abstain from sexual immorality.” First thing in the list.

Now, it’s not the first in every list. We’ve looked at those lists before, but here it is. And I think that this is because this is an area of great temptation to us and great proneness to wander. And so as he heads up this list of things to do to find yourself well pleasing to God, to obey the commandments of Christ, and to move in terms of sanctification, he gives us sexual commands—the things we don’t like to talk about, the things that probably half of you are wishing I wasn’t preaching on today because it’s embarrassing, particularly with your children.

But you see how important it is to talk to our maturing children about this topic and how important it is for us to reform our lives here as is everywhere else. It’s at the top of the list in 1 Thessalonians 4 that you abstain from sexual immorality.

“That each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor not in passion of lust. King James lust of concupiscence, old phrase—not in passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this or any other matter.”

Now, I don’t think—I think what he’s doing there is moving from sexual relationships to economic relationships. And if we had the time to look at Hebrews 13:1-6, you’ll see the same pattern laid out: love of the brothers, marriage bed should be undefiled, don’t defraud anybody or steal anybody relative to your vocation. Same kind of pattern. And you see, it’s so practical, isn’t it, that our lives are filled with commandments of sanctification that go to the very mundane things of life—sexuality and our vocations. Don’t engage in the lust of concupiscence, the passion of lust. Don’t defraud anybody either. And there’s a sense in which when we do engage in sexual immorality, we defraud our mates. So there is a connection, but he is moving to a separate topic.

Now this term “lust of concupiscence” or “passion of lust.” This doesn’t mean that Christian sexual relationships shouldn’t be full of passion and lust in a proper sense as well. But what it’s talking about is a particular word, a particular kind of lust that the Gentiles do. So if nothing else, you know that when you’re not a Christian, you have one way of approaching the sexual relationship. And when you are a Christian, it better be different. It better be different. Yeah. It ought to be an area of sanctification. So it’s different. How is it different?

Well, the phrase in the Greek seems to mean to seek after inordinately. Okay. Or as I put it on your outline, to seek the forbidden or to be carried away to excess. So in terms of the violation of the monthly prohibition, that would be to seek the forbidden, right? Or to try to engage in the sexual relationship in a way that is exciting because it’s forbidden. That’s verboten according to this commandment from 1 Thessalonians 4. And that’s what pagan men do. They want forbidden fruit.

You see, going back to Adam again or to be carried away so that you’re no longer doing things to be glorifying to God and to be moving in the context of the Spirit’s sanctification. God mediates this relationship. And to let ourselves be inordinately carried away is wrong. The same term is also used in Romans 1, which we’ll get to in a couple of minutes, and we’ll talk about that. But you’ll remember that in Romans 1 that people are given over to vile affections—affections that are perverted somehow, either their intensity or their throwing off of the commands of God.

So why do we have this commandment? Well, we have this commandment because we’re prone to do these things that we’re told not to do. And so you got to know that. You got to know that it’s going to look different in the context of Christian marriage.

Next, C: Husbands and wives are prone to engage in worldly lust. In Titus 2:12, we read that “he is teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lust, we should live so soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age.”

So, there’s a soberness and a godliness to Christian sexual relationships that’s different from the worldly lust that we see clearly portrayed for us in the media, on the news, advertising, movies, books, etc. More and more of it. So, we’re not supposed to be like that.

Fourth, husbands and wives are prone to defile the marriage bed. As I said from Hebrews 13:1-6, it’s kind of a parallel passage to 1 Thessalonians 4. He says, “Marriage is honorable among all or should be and the bed undefiled.” What does it mean? It means that we can defile that marriage bed and we’re told to keep it undefiled because in our Adamic nature, in our fallen state, we’re going to end up defiling it to a certain degree.

Husbands and wives are prone to unthankfulness and thus to the slippery slope judgments of vile affections. If you look at turn to Romans 1, here. And you’re familiar with this. We, you know, this is a text that everybody is pretty familiar with, I think. But, but it’s important. It’s important for this topic.

Verse 21: “Because when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful, but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves be wise, they became fools, changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like a corruptible man into birds and four-footed beasts and creeping things.

“Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lust of their own hearts to dishonor their own bodies between themselves who changed the truth of God into a lie and worshiped and served the creature more than the creator who is blessed forever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up to vile affections. There’s that word concupiscence of lust. For even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the man leaving in the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another.”

What’s going on here? Well, he’s saying that because people aren’t thankful, God turns them over to judicially their sinful lust. Okay? And then you have this slippery slope where you’ve got lust that is warm, then it burns hot, and then it burns itself out. And they can’t get no satisfaction is what’s going on in Romans 1. They can’t get satisfaction. They need increasing stimulation up and up and up in terms of various areas of life, but certainly in terms of sexual relationships to try to get more and more excited. Why is that going on? That’s going on because the God of heaven rules because he judicially imposes this upon people.

He equates—or he shows rather—the root of homosexuality for instance in unthankfulness. So don’t be, you know, arrogant toward the homosexual. Now I know he’s in much more open blatant sin. But recognize that when we’re unthankful to God, that’s what he tends to begin to turn us over to, cause us to repent of our unthankfulness. And that enters into the marital relationship, doesn’t it? Because there we can—if we’re—it’s a demonstration that God is judging us for unthankfulness to him. We are prone in our Adamic nature to be unthankful. And thus, we are very much prone to move down that slippery path of judgment of vile affections.

Let me read a couple of quotations here. Murray said this in his commentary on this passage of Romans: “This is the positive infliction of handing over to that which is wholly alien to and subversive of the revealed good pleasure of God. God’s displeasure is expressed in his abandonment of the persons concerned to more intensified and agitated cultivation of the lust of their own flesh, the lust of their own hearts with the result that they reap for themselves a correspondingly greater role of retributive vengeance from God. Those actions are then the subject of God’s retribution.”

Rushdoony commenting on this says that when men don’t worship God as Lord and creator, man then moves in terms of worshiping his own powers of creation. And so he cites the fact that for instance when great catastrophes come upon cultures men turn to sexual proclivities to kind of regroup themselves and an attempt to recreate as it were order in the context of world that has fallen and is falling apart in terms of judgment.

So in the context of this, let me read one more quote from John Knox on this quote. He says that “the apostle’s primary purpose at the moment is to point not to sins but to judgment. That’s in Romans 1. He sees in the moral corruption, especially in the unnatural sexual vices, a sign that the wrath has already begun to work. God gave them up to impurity. We have already seen that Paul conceived of sin and its consequences as being in the closest possible connection. Decay and death followed upon sin as inevitably as life and peace upon the righteousness of faith and indeed partook of the same character.”

So here He sees the prevalence of homosexuality, the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves as a manifestation not only of sin but also of its issue and punishment. In other words, corruption and death.

And then Rushdoony’s quote is this: “The humanist rebels against God in order to exalt himself. The grim irony of judgment is that his act leads to dishonoring himself. The humanist seeks to glorify and honor his body, but he instead dishonors it openly and makes his disgrace a public fact.”

Now, we may not move to those levels in the context of the church of Christ. I pray to God we would not. But it is true that in the context of our private—what goes on behind closed doors—we are prone in our fallen Adamic nature to be unthankful and therefore to be turned over to these—the lust of concupiscence, vile affections, and the slippery slope of judgment of these vile affections.

Next: Husbands are prone to dishonor and desanctify their wives. 1 Thessalonians 4:4 tells us this. He says that “each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor.” This is the corollary or the opposite rather of the prohibition against the Gentile means. And it says instead when husbands are to enter into relationships with their wives. They’re to do so in a way that is both honoring and sanctifying. Again, why do we need the commandment to do these things? Because we’re prone not to do them.

We are prone to dishonor and desanctify as a result, hurt the sanctification of our wives. Dominion, as we saw with Adam and Eve, can become domination. Remember Eve’s sentence. “Your desire will be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.” A perversion happens in the context of the marriage relationship that must be worked through from a Christian position that must be grabbed a hold of, prayed about and transformed.

Another function at work here is guilt seeks to bring all things to its own level. And the guilty husband who feels guilty in this particular area of life will in his left unchecked will seek to bring his wife to his own level of sexual guilt. That’s what men do in their fallen states. And we as Christians are redeemed in Christ, but we still have the Adamic nature.

G: Husbands are prone to know their wives in sexual isolation. In other words, to have sex, but not really as a knowing act. To have sex in isolation from their total relationship with one’s wife. How do I know that? Because we’re told in 1 Peter 3:7, “Husbands likewise dwell with them, your wives, that is with understanding.” We tend not to. It’s too tough for us. We think they’re supposed to be like us. They’re not. And we give up trying to know them.

But the scriptures exhort us to know them. We tend to pull back from fully knowing our wives as something different than who we are. We seek to impose our image of masculinity upon them. And when we have difficulties, we pull back from this knowledge. So we’re prone not to live with our wives in terms of understanding. Goes on to say, “giving honor to the wife. The marriage bed is to be honored, honorable, and undefiled as to the weaker vessel. And as being heirs together of the grace of life.”

We tend—men tend in their Adamic nature to pull back from these things and to satisfy ourselves and so engage in this particular area of the Christian walk in a desanctifying way.

Again quoting Rushdoony: “Since the goal of man when he claims to be God is self-sufficiency, the dependency of love is denied. And then he talks about the Age of Reason. He says, was the Age of Reason which also reduced women’s regal status to that of a slave as part of his love. Having reduced women to a helpless role, these men could then be as romantic about this puppet whom they could so easily destroy.”

Keats burbled about his new woman and he quotes now from Keats and this romantic idea of womanhood from the Age of Reason or rationality and he Keats said this: “God she is like a milk-white lamb that bleats for men’s protection.”

See—to reduce her from the regal status as queen and as joint ruler over the family under the man’s headship but nonetheless that you know, strong virtuous wife that the Proverbs speak of—to bring that down to a position of not knowing them as joint heirs of the gift of life—that is sort of little things to be enjoyed and just as easily destroyed. That’s what the Age of Reason did without Christian instruction into the marriage relationship. As a result, we are just as prone to that as those men were. And we live in the context of a culture that sometimes will give us that impression of women as well.

So we are prone to know our wives in sexual isolation. And then husbands are prone to use serpent speech on their weaker vessel. Now I changed this—probably “serpent speech” isn’t quite right. The devil—the word “devil” means more like slander. Let’s say serpent speech—and everybody knows this, but we don’t talk about it a whole lot, but I’m going to talk about it now.

Young men, you need to know what your tendency is. And older men, you know that this is your tendency. Your tendency is to use speech the way the serpent used speech to get what you want when you want it. And the history of the so-called sexual revolution and that whole thing is one that has just given complete license to men like some of our governing officials who use serpent speech to seduce the weaker vessel.

Remember when we looked at that “weaker vessel” stuff in the context of Genesis 2 and 3. How is she weaker? She’s weaker because she was made as a compliment to you. She’s made to be led. She is prone to be led. And that’s why it was so wicked of Adam to send her out there to talk to the serpent. But it’s even more wicked now when we men image the serpent instead of the God of truth—the God of agape love. Instead, we image the serpent in our speech and our attempts to satisfy what we want out of our wives in whole wide range of areas, but certainly when it comes down to sexual relationships as well.

Young men, be warned against this. Understand that you’re going to either image the second Adam, the Lord Jesus Christ, or the first Adam in your actions toward the women and toward the girls, the young women that you know in the context of this church and in other places. What are you going to do? Are you going to image the…