Dennis Tuuri

# Proverbs 27:5-10 Marriage and Friendship, Part 2

for broader reasons. Genesis 2:20, and now this is an implicit thing. It doesn’t state it overtly, but in the very creation of a wife for Adam, what we read is the man gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. And so this is where we get that, you know, helpmate thing. Helper fit. And helper is helper.

But the thing that kind of confuses the translation or what’s really going on is this word fit. Now in the opening chapters of the Bible in Genesis, you know, we’ve kind of got meta narrative. We got big stuff going on. We’ve got words that’ll be unpacked with 66 books, right? I mean, so this stuff is intentionally you know, not mysterious, but it means a lot more than is there. It wants us it, you know, for 40 years, you know, I continue to go back to Genesis, the opening chapters, and meditate on it. That’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s written in those big words that can mean go in several directions. But this word for fit, it doesn’t it means literally you could say it’s facing. Okay? So, she makes God’s going to make Adam a helper facing him. So, they’re face to face is another way to talk about this. Your helpmate is face to face with you.

And again, there’s some ontological stuff we can, you know, that pushes us toward total equality. But there’s a relationship thing. Remember, we talked last week, one way to talk about intimate friendships is you’re not just shoulder-to-shoulder doing common tasks together. Eve will do that with Adam. She’s going to help him exercise dominion. But one of the ways she does that is face to face. Now, an implication of the face-to-face language is she’s a complement to him. She’s not the same as him. She faces, she’s the opposite of him. That’s another way you could translate it. Or the complement, not she’s complimenting him with nice words. She’s, you know, the yin to his yang kind of a thing. She’s the complement.

Well, to me, that’s what friendship in terms of marriage is about. That complementariness. And man and woman are created and brought into marriage to be face to face and to have not just, you know, heads and not just work but to fulfill the dominion mandate through close relationship or companionship. And I think if you look at some of the commentaries particularly the newer ones where we know more about the root words that are used in these kind of texts you’ll see the same thing that I’ve just said. There is implicit in this what I would call you know close friendship companionship of a very heightened nature in this.

But the next place I want to go is Proverbs 2. And I kind of I made a reference to this last week. Didn’t tell you the verses. It was kind of confusing. So turn to Proverbs 2 and we’ll look at a another verse that I referred to last week and we’ll put it a little bit in context as well. Now on your outlines on your handouts for today as you’re turning to Proverbs chapter 2, I’ve got a little structure here. On your handouts, we’re talking about marriage as friendship. It’s implicit. There are vows. Song of Songs 5:16, Genesis 2:20, and now Proverbs 2.

And the way Proverbs 2 works is the first 11 verses, God urges, you know, or God through Solomon urges the young man, the son, the young man to receive, to seek after wisdom and knowledge, right? So that he can be given the gift of understanding so that he can be blessed. And so verses 1 to 11, you know, have a particular movement to them. And then in verse 12, it says now, so you’re supposed to seek after these things. And then let me read verse 11. Verse 11 says that discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you. So the first 11 verses is go after it, get it. It’s really a good thing. It’ll be a blessing to you.

And then what happens is in the next two sections, two sets of verses, you’re going to be delivered from bad things as well. So verse 12 says, “Delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech.” And it talks about those men for a few verses. And then in verse 16, it says, “So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.” So, you know, seek wisdom. You’re going to be blessed if you get it. And part of the blessing is deliverance from bad men, bad friends, bad company, right? We’re told bad company corrupts good morals in the New Testament.

So, you know, you’ll be delivered from bad men plural, but you’ll also then be delivered, and he’s speaking to his son, from the forbidden woman singular, which is interesting. Can’t spend any more time, but think about the implications of that. So you’ll be, you know, you’ll be delivered from the forbidden woman. Well, who is this forbidden woman? Why is she forbidden? From the adulteress, we’re told, with her smooth words. So she’s forbidden because to have, you know, relationships with her, you’re violating now the seventh commandment, right? And so this is that’s why she’s forbidden, I think, is she’s an adulteress. So she’s a married woman, but she no longer acts like a married woman.

And that’s where verse 17 tells us, it expands on this adultery. The adulteress, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God. And so this is, I think, expanding on this definition of her as an adulteress. The adulterous woman in her movement toward adultery forsakes the companion, and that’s not a strong enough word, the close confidant of her youth. And what it’s saying is that in her adultery, she’s moved away from her husband. And her husband was her close confidant, the companion since she was young and got married. She forgets the covenant of her God. I think most commentaries assume that’s referring to the marriage covenant. So, she violates the marriage covenant. And how does the text tell us she violates it? By moving away not from a particular aspect of her husband, terms of father of her kids or whatever it is. It identifies her husband specifically that she’s committing adultery. She’s done it by moving away from him as a close confidant, as her close dear friend.

So again, Proverbs 2, you know what we’ve got here, of course, the forbidden woman is foolishness as opposed to wisdom, right? So I mean it’s a on one level it’s a metaphor for, you know, all kinds of folly, but it’s also talking to real young people and really warning them about the forbidden woman who’s become an adulteress by no longer being a close friend with her husband. So, as a model to us, like Song of Songs 5:16, what I think this is telling us is just what I’ve been trying to say for the last two weeks, that marriage is about friendship and the person you marry is your close confidant. You maybe not your best friend. I can’t quite say that far. It doesn’t say that in scripture but it certainly implies deep close friendship with your spouse.

Now the text goes on to talk about how her house leads down to death and so there’s curses attached to it and then the last part of this chapter is walking in the way. So walking in the way, implicit to women that read these verses is don’t be an adulteress. Don’t forsake the friendship relationship that you have, the close confidant relationship you have with your husband. So the way you’re supposed to walk in is the way we’re encouraging you to walk in last week and this Sunday. The way of close friendship with your husband. That way is the one that’s established in the land.

The text goes on to say, “And the upright will inherit the land. The meek inherit the earth.” The meek are those who are in proper relationship to their spouses by working at maintaining and developing close friendship. Now, I think if I’ve got all that, you know, understanding of the text right, that really raises the bar for us, right? It really raises the bar of the importance of this aspect of our marriages to something that becomes quite important. And if that’s the signal event that signifies the path to actual physical adultery, then this becomes now a very important thing for us to work at and to avoid like you know death itself because that’s how she’s identified. Her ways lead to death.

Okay. So does that make sense? I hope it does. If it doesn’t, you know, we have Q&A time you know to clear up any difficulties with that text. And I’m sorry I didn’t do a better job last week, but I think that really explains it for us.

So, let’s go back to Mark and Grace Driscoll’s little acronym for friends and let’s move quickly through the last three or four letters of this. So, on your handouts again, Mark Driscoll’s FRIENDS. The book is actually Real Marriage by Mark and Grace, and we’ve talked about fruitfulness. We talked about that last week. So, the point of marriage is to make you fruitful or point of friendship rather is that you’d be fruitful whether it’s within marriage or outside of marriage. If you’re going to be a friend to somebody, it’s not just, you know, to make them feel good. It’s to make them fruitful. It’s to make them better citizens of the kingdom, more productive for the kingdom of God.

It has to be reciprocal. You can’t have a one-way friendship. And we talked about that last week. You can try to befriend somebody and work hard at it for a good long time, and you may be being friendly to them, but there’s really not the reciprocal relationship that God says certainly should be in the context of our marriages and in all really good friendships. They’ll be reciprocal.

Third, they’ll be intimate. And here I want to look at John 15:11-15 just a little bit more. I talked about this, I think, maybe at the Lord’s table last week, but there’s an intimacy to friendship. Abraham is God’s friend. And you know, is God going to not tell Abraham what’s going on, what he’s going to do in Sodom and Gomorrah? No. He’s going to tell him because he’s friends. Friends reveal things to each other. This is found in John 15:11-15. And I’ll read this verse in context. So verse 11 says this, “These things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full.” So the context of this, Jesus is saying, I’m telling you this because this is the way you’re going to get joy. Okay? Lots of joy.

And then he says, “This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you.” So the way you get joy is not by getting rid of that horrible idea of somebody giving us commandments that we have to obey. Jesus says the embracing of his commandments for us is what’s going to bring us joy. Okay? And then what is his commandment? Well, his commandment, he says this is my commandment that you love one another. So he connects commandment up to joy. And he says the basic idea that all the commandments hinge on this loving one another. And we know this, heard it lots of times. The law is summed up in love the Lord your God. Love your neighbor as yourself. Right? And so that’s the summation.

But then he tells us a couple of things about what it means to love your neighbor. And this is all the context for what he’s going to say about friendship. Greater love has no man than that someone lay down his life for his friends. Okay. So what’s friendship? Friendship is a reciprocal relationship in which we’re willing, if need be, to die for our friend. And of course, this clearly is pointing to what Jesus does for us. And so we’re his friends because he’s going to lay down his life for us. Jesus goes beyond being just a friend because he dies while we’re yet his enemies. He’s talking about if you got friends, you know, great love. What is the definition of love? Being willing, you know, to take the bullet for your friend, right? To jump in front of somebody that’s shooting at your friend and take the bullet for them. That’s what he’s saying here. To lay down your life for your friend. Self-sacrifice is essential to friendship in the context of marriage. It’s what Jesus says.

Then he says, “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” So now we’re back to command. This is my commandment that you love one another. You know, great love is laying down your life sacrificially. Okay, the command is do that. Great love is this. And then he goes back and he says again, you know that you’ve got to obey my command. If you’re my friends, you’ll do what I command you to do.

“No longer do I call you servants for the servant does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends for all that I have learned from my father I have made known to you.” So self-revelation is part of being friends to reveal yourself to another person. Now you know why don’t we do that more often? Well probably because we’re afraid to.

At the end of your handouts today I’ve got the dangerousness of friendships. I mean, you know, when you get married and if you take seriously friendship and really deep friendship, you’re going to reveal who you are. That’s what Jesus says. You’re going to be willing to sacrifice for each other. But the revealing of who you are, what does it mean? It means you’re vulnerable. And you’re vulnerable at the about the highest level you could possibly get. To have a best friend, whether within marriage or outside, is to have the greatest point of vulnerability in your life. It’s dangerous business. The Bible commends it over and over and over again.

But, you know, I don’t want to sell you a bill of goods here without giving you the warning label. And the warning label on friendship is the Bible has a lot to say about close friends who betray you. So, you know, if that’s happened to you, join the club. If you want to complain to God, take a number, whatever it is. And of course, the ultimate example of this is Christ himself betrayed. So it’s dangerous. And also by the way, if it’s happened to you, join the club. It’s not just you. It wasn’t you, okay? It happens. You got to get over it. It’s okay. And you got to continue to reveal yourself and to seek friendship because there’s blessings in that.

But husbands and wives, you know, I’m urging you to be close friends. And understand that when your wife reveals herself to you or when you reveal yourself to her, you are giving each other a knife that they can kill you with. They can just destroy you. So, so you know, but that’s intimacy. That’s being willing to reveal yourself to the other person. And what we have to do then is that’s a fearful thing. And if we’re going to want to have a close friendship with our spouse or with another person at church or whatever it is. What we’re going to have to do is give them all kinds of assurances that we love them, that we’re in their corner, that we’re going to, you know, do that. If somebody shoots, I’m taking the bullet. That sets up the assurance for your partner that they can reveal themselves to you. Do you understand?

So, the self-sacrificial thing that Jesus says about friendship sets up the revelation thing that Jesus says about friendship. You get there through the affirmation, the truth that your spouse knows that you will you’ve made that covenant till death do us part. And that gives then some as you live that out and as you affirm that to your spouse, that gives your spouse safety to reveal themselves to you. So intimacy.

Enjoyable. Marriage should be enjoyable, of course. Ecclesiastes 9:7-9. Actually, not just marriage, but friendship is to be an enjoyable thing. We read from Ecclesiastes 4 last week. The guy who, you know, before that whole section, it’s good if you have two people, one falls down, the other holds them up. The lead into that was a guy that was really had a lot of riches. And he says, for whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure? See that? God doesn’t say it’s wrong to seek pleasure. He says, don’t do it in isolation. Friendships are supposed to be pleasurable, enjoyable things and specifically in the context of marriage. This is what we read in Ecclesiastes 9. You know these verses. Go eat your bread with joy. Drink your wine with a merry heart. God has already approved what you do. Let your garments be always white. Let nothing be lacking on your head. Let not oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun because that is your portion in life and in your toil in which you toil under the sun.

So what God says is hey Jesus has forgiven your sins. You’re accepted before him. Don’t be neurotic about it and self-doubting. And in fact do just the opposite. Have a good time. Rejoice with your wife. You know if you look at Driscoll’s seven letters, the center one here is enjoyment. For the joy that was set before him. The Savior endured the cross. You’ve got to not just embrace friendship as a duty because that’s what the Bible says. You have to embrace it as the source of delightfulness, enjoyment, right? Joy. And God says that’s just what he wants you to do.

Your average day is not supposed to be sitting around worrying all day about, you know, the President or whoever else is going to be blown away like the chaff. That’s transitory stuff, right? You got to attend to some of that this time of year. And your average day shouldn’t be spent with long tough discussions about what’s going on with this or that problem in your life. They’re real. But what does he tell you to do? When you’re done with your work, you and your wife get together at the end of the day and you’re friends and you’re friends who enjoy each other’s company. So, at the heart of friendship, the way Driscoll lays it out is enjoyable. It’s enjoyable.

Next, it’s needful, right? And we talked about this actually a little last week before we read that text in Genesis that man was given this helper fit for him, this face-to-face wife, you know, we see the statements of the man’s need. So biblical friendship in the context of marriage and actually friendships overall are needful sort of a thing. Proverbs 17:17 says that a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity. So you know what they’re saying is it’s connecting up friend and brother. Adversity is one of those times and a friend is a friend who loves with you in all times. He’s in your corner, which means a friend is needed in times of adversity. So, you know, a friendship is needful, right?

I thought about this, you know, it’s interesting. I’m going to the commissioning scripture today will be the Great Commission from Matthew 28. And and you remember the last thing Jesus tells them when he commissions them, you know, we’re brought together to be commissioned every week. You’re sent out always with the Great Commission upon you. But what’s the last thing he tells you? And in a way, if this is the last thing, it’s maybe the most needful thing you need to know as you leave here today. What is it? “Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” It’s the promise of presence, not presents like Christmas time presents. P-R-E-S-E-N-C-E. He’ll be with us. We need them. as we leave this place to fulfill the Great Commission we need the promise of Christ’s perpetual presence with us by the Holy Spirit.

But remember that you know the way Christ is with us usually involves members of his body. Where is Jesus just sort of in the ethos with us? Well, he has a body and his body is present with us. And so I think the primary way that Jesus is present with us is with other people and specifically with friends. I think you cannot overestimate the significance just of being there committed knowing you’re needed just as a friend even if you don’t got any answers right just as a friend that you’re needed. Presence is incredibly important in friendship and as needed for our lives.

So need as I said last week, Acts 27:3. The next day we read about Paul. We landed at Sidon and Julius treated Paul kindly and he gave him liberty to go to his friends and receive care. We need care and we need care at the end of our workday. We need our spouse to come together with us. We need that relationship to receive care and care through rejoicing together. So friendships are needed. It’s not good that man be alone. Now, it may or may not be your friend in marriage, but good friends, close friends, at least, you know, a close friend is a needful sort of a thing.

The Bible says devoted. And these last two really is what it’s all about. Devoted and sanctifying, you know, devoted means you’re committed to that person. You’re not going to betray them the way that so many false friends betray other people. And sanctifying means you’re going to help that person. So, these last two, they’re that speak truth in love thing. Again, they’re the in your corner, but not countenancing any sinfulness. They are in your corner. They’ve got your back, but they will when it’s needed, stab you in the front. They won’t stab you in the back, but they will give direct exhortations and rebukes to you because sanctification is part of the process.

You know, in the context of marriage, so often I think marriages are either long term can become about where the person is an enabler of the other person or the person is an accuser to the other person or maybe even a betrayer of them to other people. But in most relationships, you know, if you don’t get this center right of devotion and sanctification being the purpose of close friendships, both within marriage and outside of marriage, you’re either going to be an enabler to your friend, right? It’s all love. It’s all in your corner. It’s never wanting to really risk the friendship by saying hard things or discussing hard topics, right? And what you do when you do that is you rob your spouse or you rob your best friend of the source of their sanctification, right?

I mean, I think it’s on your handouts. Someone said, you know, what if marriage isn’t about happiness, but God’s purpose for us is not to be happy in marriage but to be holy as a result of marriage. And I think that’s right and that’s what we saw in Ephesians chapter 5 that marriage is intended for sanctification. So if all you do is you’re the good submissive wife and this happens to women more than men although it happens both ways. Your idea of Christian submission is you just sort of do what husband wants you to do and you don’t ever tell him you’re nuts. you know what you are is you’re an enabler to a guy and in a way I mean it is his fault. But in a way, you bear a lot of responsibility for the actions of your husband because you were given to him by God to be his close friend to help him move towards sanctification. Right?

And conversely, if all you’re ever doing is you’re telling your spouse what they’re doing wrong all the time and that isn’t in the base of really a deep loving commitment, then they’re going to be, you know, beaten down by continual accusation and their sanctification will be impeded. Right? So you don’t want to be, you know, an enabler and you don’t want to be an accuser. You want to be a lover, a biblical lover of your close friend. And what that means is, you know, doing these last two things, seeing the significance of devotion and the significance of sanctification in the context of marriage.

So devotion, right? Proverbs 17:17, a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity. So there’s the devotion. Your friend is there at all times. Proverbs 18:24, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Now, that’s a very confusing verse. Another translation, maybe a better translation instead of a man of many companions may come to ruin, is friends do one come together or to associate with. It doesn’t necessarily mean the translation is obscure and we don’t really know what the first half of that verse means, but it’s talking about a bunch of friends and it’s contrasting the bunch of friends with then a friend singular who sticks closer than a brother. Okay? And you know remember I said that the woman is singular in Proverbs 2 and the men are plural. Well maybe that’s one reason why some evidence that your spouse is to be your closest friend because this is talking about a really close friend. A friend who sticks closer than a brother who is really devoted to you in the context of your life.

Okay, here we go. Now, it’s interesting, devoted. So, we’ve talked about that and sanctifying. If you remember, I told you we’d get back eventually to Proverbs 27:5-10. If you turn there now with me and let’s look at that a little bit as we as we kind of wrap this up. So you’ve got devotion and then you’ve got sanctification. And in the world people are enablers, they’re accusers or frequently your friends will be betrayers. And the word of God says that we’re to be different than that. We’re to be sanctifying.

I think that’s what Proverbs 27:5-10 is about. You’ll notice that verse 6 is about friends. I can’t go through it now, but verse I think this is a section. I think that there’s a transition from four to five and five is linked to six. So six says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” And just before that, it says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” And you see those are parallel verses, right? Kind of obvious, I suppose. But that’s why I include five in this little section about friendship. And what it tells us about friendships is faithful are the wounds of a friend. Friendship’s purpose is sanctification. The friend is devoted. He’s committed. He’s in your corner. He’s got your back. You know, he’s with you. But he’s supposed to wound you. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

You if you think you know who your friends are by who’s being nice to you and who isn’t, wrong. You have to evaluate what they’re doing. So a friend here is somebody who wounds you.

Verse 7 says, “One who is full of bread has plenty, and he who is hungry, everything bitter is sweet. Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man who strays from his home.” Verse 9, “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his heartfelt advice.” So you see, verse 7 seems not to be about friendship, but it does. It is about something that seems sweet even though it isn’t. Right? That’s what verse 7 says. And verse 9 brings together that sweetness word again. And it ties verse 7 to verse 9, which is about friendships. And verse 9 says that the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest, truthful, committed counsel. And I think what that’s saying here in the context of this section is his difficult things. That’s how the section began. The wounds of a friend.

His heartfelt counsel is better translated his truthful counsel to you. “You’re being a jerk.” And when you tell your friend that and that’s what’s really going on, that is sweetness. That’s that demonstrates the sweetness of a friend. It comes from his desire to and commitment to sanctify you, not to leave you alone, not to just unconditionally love. If what that means is you never address your partner’s sanctification. You’ve given up the whole game if that’s what you think is going on and you’re no longer a friend to your spouse. Friends speak truth to each other. They love each other and committed, but they’re sanctifying to one another.

Driscoll’s thing began with fruitfulness and it ends with sanctification. Well, that’s how you get fruitful is through sanctification. And you get sanctified by having enough love for each other to correct. How much do you really love your spouse? Are you willing to suffer possible blowback from them, push back, to have your relationship threatened to speak bluntly about your but you know nicely about your friend’s sin. And I think that’s what’s going on here. The sweetness of a friend is by his earnest counsel.

“Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.” So it’s interesting to me you know your dad’s friend singular, your friend singular. And so friendships, if you’re going to have a couple of close friends, they should include your dad’s friend. At least keep him in your orbit. Multigenerational, right? That’s important. Multigenerational. Ask Rehoboam. He didn’t keep multigenerational counsel going. He listened to the young guys and lost the entire kingdom he had inherited from his dad Solomon. So multigenerational friendship. But the point here is that I think this section is all about the need to see friendship as sanctification. The need to have, you know, wound your friend when necessary to give him hearty, full-throated, honest counsel as his close confidant.

And I think that if you look in between those things then that what it’s talking about a bird that strays from its nest is a man who strays from his home. Our home, our place, our established sense has this relationship to what’s coming before and after, our friends. And specifically our friends who will help correct us and sanctify us. As Christians, our home is like a nest. It’s where we’re supposed to be. And when we move away from friends and move away from, you know, the devotion and sanctification of people or when we remove devotion or sanctification from another friend, this is what we’re doing. We’re moving away from the nest. We’re moving away from our place.

And what’s the end result of that? The end result is we’re not going to have a very sweet thing anymore. And you know, we’re going to actually think bitter stuff is sweet. So, I think this whole section in Proverbs 27 is about this last S from Driscoll’s little acronym, sanctifying. The word of God, I think, encourages us that our marriages are to reflect deep and abiding friendships with one another. And these friendships are for the purpose of sanctification. And we get there through both devotion and honesty in what we say to our friends.

You know, Driscoll closes this chapter really well. He says, you know, there’s a lot of stuff to do in marriage and we just had what the eighth sermon. A lot of stuff you’re supposed to be doing in terms of your marriage. You know, how do you prioritize everything you’re supposed to do in a marriage? And Driscoll says this is a great way to start. This is a way if you’re going to do nothing else to try to embrace spouse as your friend, everything else becomes a lot easier to work out. Conversely, if you and your spouse are not friends, then all the other decisions you got to jointly make and how you got to run your relationship and, you know, be satisfied with each other and enjoying one another, etc. If you’re not being friends, none of that’s going to really be very easy.

Now, you’re going to have a long to-do list in terms of trying to maintain your relationship with your spouse. But if you make friendship the top of the list, I think everything else kind of falls in. Not totally naturally. Still got to do some work. But I think this is absolutely critical to having successful marriages is having a spouse that is your friend. I think the scriptures tell us that.

You know what? How about you? Jesus died so that you could be his friends and he could restore friendship again to that wonderful model of Song of Songs 5:16. Restore marriage again to being my spouse and my friend. That’s what Jesus did. And I’d ask you, how’s the relationship between you and your spouse evaluated in terms of friendship? The sort of things we’ve talked about today. And just remember two things: commitment or devotion and sanctification. Those are the two marks. Friendships are close relationships where you’re committed. You know, you’ll be the first to walk in and the last to walk out. You know, you’re the guy that’s going to stay when everybody else leaves. That’s what a friend is. And that’s what our marriage vows call us to be. And so we’re to do that.

How are you in terms of your spouse’s knowledge of your devotion to them and to the relationship? Do they know you’re going to have that thing? You’re going to have that devotion for at least the rest of this life? And then secondly, if that’s all you talk about and that’s all you do, are you enabling your spouse in some way? How is your relationship, your friendship with your spouse in terms of sanctification? Are you being honest with them about the things that they need to hear?

Yeah. Speak in grace. Our words can minister grace, etc. But speak into their difficulties that they’re having, whether it’s with you, children, other people, whatever it is in their life. Are you a sanctifying influence? Are you willing to love your spouse enough to wound them. No, no, I don’t want to start divorces today. So that wounding has the context of devotion, love, joy, etc. But there has to be, if I’m reading my Bible correctly, close friendship in marriage. And a close friend is one who, when necessary, is willing to cause you a little bit of pain. He’s like a surgeon. He’s not going to let your tumor just grow and grow and grow to your death. He’s going to help you go in there and painfully but lovingly help you attend to your relationship.

May the Lord God grant us blessed marriages by giving us blessed friendships. Let’s pray. Father, we thank you for today. We thank you that Jesus came so that we could be good friends again. We know the Bible is just absolutely filled with betrayals of friendships. We pray that we would be those friends who not only are devoted, but we’re devoted to the well-being of our spouses. and as a result also make use of sanctifying opportunities. Father, I pray that friendship would grow in this church. May all people here try to develop one or two good close friends and to work at it and try to be the kind of people that close friends are supposed to be to one another. And then we pray for our marriages, particularly those that are married. May that relationship between them and their spouse be one of close friendship. In Jesus name we ask it. Amen.