Dennis Tuuri

Romans 16:16. Please stand for the reading of God’s word. I had my trump verse on the front page. Our way out of something today. All right. Romans 16:16. Greet one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ greet you. Let’s pray.

Father, we thank you for your word. We thank you for every jot and tittle of it. We thank you for this verse and we thank you for bringing us here, Lord God, to strengthen us that we might be strengthening and affirming to one another by showing visible affection toward one another.

We thank you for the demonstration of that in this verse, the strengthening that’s accomplished in the peace that results from that. Thank you, Lord God, for Romans 16:16. Give us insight now by your Holy Spirit, not so that we can hear and then walk away forgetting who we are and what changes we need to make but rather seeing our identity by means of your word. In Jesus name we ask it. Amen. Please be seated.

This is the third sermon in a series on basic building blocks of Christian community. So these are like the ABCs and if we’re going to be an effective witness to Christ in this world in lots of ways in addressing lots of topics, it’s really pretty dependent upon whether we’re really imaging the community of God, the new reality, the new order of things as it were that comes through the Lord Jesus Christ, his new creation.

So these sermons were inspired by two pages out of a book by Timothy Keller, a study guide to a series Gospel in Life. And what he does is he takes all the “one another” verses, right? So in the New Testament—so “greet one another with a holy kiss,” for instance—that’s why this verse is in this series. He took all those and then he organized them under three heads, right? So the three heads are affirm, share, and serve. So if you take all the “one another” texts—40 or 50 of them—and kind of try to categorize them, this was his way of coming up with three categories.

There are “one anothers” that encourage us to affirm each other. Remember, “affirm” in the English word means to make firm, to strengthen each other, right? So to affirm each other—and this is the first. This is the third sermon in a series of three sermons on affirming. And then there are other “one anothers” that talk about sharing with one another, and then there are other “one anothers” that talk about serving one another. So this is really a series of sermons categorizing the “one anothers” under these terms: affirm, share, and serve. And within each of those three topics, there are three sermons that’ll be developed and being preached by me in relationship to those three.

So we began with affirming one another because we’re part of the same family. We’re part of the same family, so we have a culture of grace. God has received us, so we’re to receive one another. We don’t receive each other first and foremost because of, you know, what you bring to the table for me or even for the kingdom. We affirm you because you’re part of our family, and any wholesome people—not in some form of decay—affirm their family. So the Christian family: we all have one Father.

Secondly, we affirm one another because we’re all in the same body. Now young people, there are—not outlines, there are sermon handouts today that adults can use, kids can use. And this was my way of affirming a 14-year-old boy who told me it would be easier for him to know what I was saying if we went back to having these kids’ handouts where they can fill in words.

And so I’ve already given you several of the answers on that handout. Adults, it may benefit you as well. Yeah, if you want to get up and go get a handout, you can do that right now. They’re back where they always used to be on the second part of those things.

So we affirm one another because we’re part of the same family, and we affirm one another because we’re part of the same body. And by that, it reminds us that we’re all necessary for each other. That, you know, every part—like the pancreas, etc.—we talked about that last week. And today we’re going to talk about affirming one another, you know, sort of more of a method of doing it as opposed to the basis. The basis is same family, same body. But here a method of doing it is to affirm each other with visible affection.

So what we’re going to talk about today is the holy kiss. And it used to be easier—this generally in cultures, the holy kiss is extended from guy to guy and girl to girl. And that used to mean one thing, and ironically we’re now in a period of time at which other things are being—that’s not even safe anymore. So we think the holy kiss is a controversial topic for us. Should we be doing it? Is it a liturgical element? What does it mean in terms of these commands to do it? And so we’re going to look at that today by looking at Romans 16:16.

But in case you’re already getting antsy, the pastor is going to say, as some people do say, “the Bible commands us to kiss each other,” right? If you’re worried about that, I’ve already got your trump verse, your escape hatch. This I found in—yes. Don’t have to do that. Proverbs 24:26. “He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.” So here we have a substitute for the kissing of the lips. It has the same effect of the kissing of the lips, and that’s giving a right answer. So now we can just shove that into all the places about kissing and we don’t have to actually kiss.

Well, we’ll see. Maybe that’s true, maybe it isn’t true. We’ll see. What do you think?

I was on vacation in Snoqualmie, Christine and I, a month or so ago, and I saw this machine. And probably some of you have seen it. I had never seen it before. I sat there and watched it for, you know, 5 or 10 minutes. This thing was—they were repaving the roads in Snoqualmie. This thing, this big truck, was shaving off maybe that much pavement. So it was just cutting it up, you know, like you’d slice through—and so it’s tearing up the old pavement. And as it’s driving along cutting that up, that old pavement is going up a conveyor belt through a chute at the front of the truck.

And there’s another truck, a dump truck, driving just in front of it, and it’s throwing all that old pavement into that dump truck. So every 3 minutes or so, they’d stop, the dump truck would go away, dump his load, a different on-truck load back up, and then they start going down the road cutting up the pavement on my street on Third Avenue in Canby.

Right now we’re trying to avoid Third Avenue because they did that. They cut it up, but they haven’t replaced it yet and it’s really a bumpy ride. Well, the amazing thing about this machine was this truck not only did it cut up the old pavement and throw it away, but it laid down new pavement at the same time. So this one truck is cutting, getting rid of the old pavement, and laying down the new pavement at the same time.

Pretty cool. If they would have had that in Canby my road wouldn’t be torn up for the last three or four days, right? Because of the new pavement we did.

Now we’re told to put off and put on. And you know, if all we do is put off stuff and don’t put on stuff, then we end up with these bumpy roads like I have right now on Third Avenue in Canby. But the Bible says this is kind of a process that happens all at once. It’s called sanctification. And sanctification is putting off certain ways of trying to build a culture or community or friends and putting on new ways.

So instead of being class-oriented, family-oriented, race-oriented, tribe-oriented, uh economic-reality-oriented, what kind of video games you like or don’t like-oriented, the church is a family not determined on those things but determined on the basis of our new relationship to God and the new creation through Jesus Christ.

So we want to assume those practices, but at the same time, the only way to do it is you put off by putting on, and when you put on you’re putting off. It’s like that paving truck doing both things at the same time.

So what we’re trying to do with this series is say let’s put on some practices, which means we’re also putting off other practices. And it’s interesting—I mentioned this book by, uh, last week, I think—Misreading Scripture Through Western Eyes, that George Schuben got me reading, and he talks in there about the verse about how women shouldn’t be adorned with, you know, braided hair and gold and pearls and costly clothing, and so but be modest, right? So you’re supposed to be modest. Women are in church.

Well, you know, we can think of that through Western eyes, and we might think that’s really aimed at sexual attraction. So we would use that verse to tell women to cover up more when they come to church. Now, that’s a whole another topic, and maybe there’s good reasons to talk about that, and there probably are. But is that what the verse is talking about?

Or we could look at it and say, well, you know, it’s a matter of—she’s just kind of showing off. Well, maybe. Maybe it’s about pride versus humility. But maybe. And if you look at the text, the author of this book thinks it’s pretty demonstrable. I don’t know. I’m not convinced yet. But I do think it’s important to look at these texts and say, well, what is one of the worst old man patterns we have? We have social relationships. We have a club rather than a church. It should be church, but we treat it like a club. And in that club, we have economic classes on display, right?

So it’s the economic disparity that’s being pictured by some people coming dressed to the nines and other people having no gold or silver or expensive clothing. And so the idea—one idea could be—that verse is about just what we’re talking about here: that we’re to be affirming one another, and ostentatious shows or even normal shows of wealth can be sort of counter to that.

Now, next week we’re going to talk about homosexuality in the Bible, and then the next week we’ll start the “share” set of three sermons, and we’ll talk about economic disparities and what’s one thing we’re supposed to do about them. But that’ll be in two weeks. But just so you kind of think about the fact that maybe one important way to look at the scriptures in light of what we’re discussing with the “one anothers” is ways that the epistles are trying to break down those kind of walls, tearing up that old pavement based on class, riches, etc., or the smart people or whatever it is, and laying down new pavement of affirmation for everyone in the church.

Okay. Now, I told you last week I was going to ask you today: Did you go through the directory? Probably not. I’d asked for a show of hands, but I can’t see them. But you could see them. Maybe I should ask for—I’m not going to. But what I encourage you to do, and what I’m going to continue to encourage you to do throughout this series, is to look at the directory. Who there would you have a hard time affirming as a member of your family? That you feel a little like this with? Or how it, maybe a lot of people? Who there do you not really understand, and certainly not appreciate their particular giftings and abilities, their body relationship to you, right? And look at those things and go after those people. Affirm those people on your priority list. Don’t start with just affirming, you know, the people you always affirm. Start with affirming the people you don’t affirm.

Young people, so you’ve got this handout, right? And I think at the bottom—I can’t remember now—but I think I put on there, you do the same thing. You know, if you’re a 14-year-old, go through the directory. Where are the kids on it? What kids do I know? Do I not know? Which kids would I be not very happy about giving a holy kiss to, or I would not be happy affirming? And pray about that and work on that.

Jonathan and Joanna came over to our house last Sunday after church, and Joanna, talking about the sermon, said, “Boy, be great to be part of a church that did that stuff, wouldn’t it?”

Yeah, it would be. It would be.

So the significance of this is that—and so now we have a visible way to express this stuff. Let me read one other text before I go on. This is from 1 Thessalonians 3:11-13, and I’m going to read it first in a translation you trust. First Thessalonians 3:11-13: “Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus Christ direct our way to you. And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another, increase and abound in love to one another and to all just as we do to you. So again, this idea of affirming everyone and abounding in love toward them, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God. Holy kiss, holy one-anothering of each other, visible affection, love overflowing. And what this does is establish our hearts, right? This strengthens, affirm, makes us firm together at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

So now let me read it in a translation called the Message. I heard Jeff Patterson talking on this holy kiss thing, and he read this. He pastors here at Renew in town. He read the Message, and this is how the Message translates this: “May God our Father himself and our Master Jesus—that’s good, Jesus implies Master. Clear the road to you. Your route is clear. Clear the road to you, and may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you just as it does from us to you. May you be infused with strength and purity, filled with confidence in the presence of God.”

So love that comes from Jesus splashes over us, and our love is to splash over to other people. Yeah, I know it’s, you know, kind of a touchy-feely sort, but I think it really helps us to see what these verses like this mean, so we don’t just kind of make abstractions out of them and take away the full impact of what God is telling us through him.

So this is what we’re trying to do. We’re—we have to get ready for the culture war. But this is the way to do it. This is the way to make yourself firm and strengthened. This is the way to understand what communities—how they’re supposed to operate—by operating in the context of this community.

So today we want to talk then about 16:16, the holy kiss. Now first of all, you know, every word is inspired by God. They’re all important, right? So we can’t just throw this away as a greeting at the end of the thing, okay? No, every word is important. And so this word is part of that—every jot and tittle—this is an important word for us because, again, it’s one of these “one anothers” as well. So it’s there and we have to understand it.

And so, and plus, this is not the only place this is said. Let me read you a few places. 1 Thessalonians 5:26: “Greet all the brethren.” Okay, so there’s an emphasis. We’re going to, you know, we’re going to look at the same thing—emphasis in Romans 16:16—in a minute. But understand: greet all the brethren with a holy kiss, okay? So it’s something about this. What is this holy kiss?

Well, part of it is it’s catholicity. We could say it’s universality within the context of a particular church. So this means you’re supposed to have—it seems—some sort of visible affection that people can see, feel, from you that’s related to everyone in the church. So the idea now would be to go through the directory and say: who wouldn’t I want to kiss with a holy kiss? We’ll get about what that means in a minute, but okay.

So he says that, then he says: “I charge you by the Lord that this epistle be read to all the holy brethren. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.”

So following the holy kiss, there’s a charge from Paul that the epistle be read in every church. Now here’s what happened historically. The church, probably within maybe the first or second century, for sure by the 3rd century, had made the holy kiss into a liturgical element of worship. And why? Well, because people didn’t want to have to give each other holy kisses in the marketplace. No, I don’t know why exactly, but the justification was this verse we just read. So the epistle of Paul’s to be read to the brethren and sisters, Lord, in the context of worship, no doubt, and so in that relationship to the epistle being read, he says to greet everyone with the holy kiss.

So, rightly or wrongly, the early church began a practice then that the holy kiss would be given in the context of worship, and it was common. I mean, so people would embrace one another, kiss each other on the cheek, you know, “peace be with you,” that kind of thing. And they would do this prior to communion. It was particularly used when people were in differences with one another. It would be a visible show of affection and reconciliation when coming to the table.

But it was also used just as a general statement of love for each other and a way to liturgically try to do that community-building practice of visible affection for each other and affirmation of each other, which then would hopefully move into the week. You know, but like all things like this, it can kind of cut both ways. And what happened over church history was that pretty soon, or at least within some period of time, the holy kiss toward each other became instead kissing of icons or kissing of the scriptures or kissing of some sacred object. They would even have an object that in some cases they would kiss and pass to each other. So it began to be cut off from personal communication, and instead be in relationship to the church.

Now, there’s a reason for that. Don’t just say “those stupid idiots.” Don’t do that. You know, when we kiss, when we affirm each other—who are we doing that for? If you affirm me, why does that strengthen me? You know, because Don affirms me? Well, yeah, that’s part of it. But who is God represent? Who is Don representing in that affirmation? Who are we really affirming?

What we’re doing is acting out the life of the Trinity. And what we’re doing is we’re subbing in for Jesus—is one way to think of it—in giving affirmation to each other. Jesus wants to build us up. The body is Christ’s presence in the earth. His saints are his presence. You’re little Christs, right? Your little baptized ones, your Christians. And so when we affirm each other, we’re doing that in the name and for Jesus.

When people affirm us in the context of the church, we should understand that certainly builds the bond of relationship between the two of us, but it also strengthens our relationship with Christ, and it builds us up in him. And that’s ultimately what’s happening. And so if Jesus kisses you, gives you a holy kiss, well, that’s a pretty good thing.

And if you can kiss the Son, right? In the form of another member of the church here? Well, then that’s good, because now you won’t suffer the wrath of God that he says in Psalm 2 falls upon nations and people who don’t kiss the Son, lest he be angry, right? And you perish in a moment.

So in a way, that’s what it’s doing. And so the church—you know, so what we’ve got is well, the icons represent other saints in heaven. The cross represents Jesus. So we can do the same “me and Jesus” thing now that we did in the holy kiss with each other through other objects. So again, I don’t think it was a good thing to do. I’m not sure—I’m not at all sure—it was a good thing to liturgize the practice rather than keeping it in the context of normal life, because it kind of, you know, we tend then to kind of wall off that part of our lives with the sacred/secular distinction.

And I certainly don’t think it was good to move away from human contact, and in fact, by the time this was fully developed, some writers were saying there is no Eucharist anymore. Because if all we have at the Eucharist are a bunch of individuals who have their own personal thing going on with Jesus by means of the icon, the cross, the Bible, whatever it is, as opposed to affirming one another in the context of community, there’s no Eucharist. There’s no celebration, because it’s not a “me and Jesus” sort of thing. It is that, but it’s “me and his church.” It’s me and his church.

So this verse, you know, two things. One, it kind of helps us to understand what the church did. But then it also is another affirmation that Paul has another verse where he tells us to greet one another with a holy kiss. 2 Corinthians 13 is another text, and these are conclusions at end of epistles. “Finally, brethren, farewell, become complete, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. So as he concludes this epistle in Corinthians—to Corinthians—be of one mind, right? So the unity again of this affirming of one another is stressed. And then he says, greet one another with a holy kiss. All the saints greet you. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.”

So again, there we have another repeated admonition to greet one another with a holy kiss. And again, it’s put in the context of greeting, like it is in Romans 16. And it’s put in the context of becoming complete together and as a result of that being established.

Another verse is 1 Corinthians 16:17-24. “I am glad about the coming of Stephanus, Fortunatus, and Achaius, for what was lacking on your part, they supplied. Okay, so he talks about persons who are building him and helping his ministry in representation of Christ, on behalf of, as representatives of the body of Christ at Corinth, okay. For they refreshed my spirit and yours. They refreshed my spirit and yours. I would suggest that—and he’s going to go on to talk about the holy kiss. Visible affection as well as physical meeting, physical needs.

We’re not just, you know, economic people. We’re not Marxists. We’re not economics. And if all we do is limit our sharing with one another to economics, we’re sort of like Marxist at that point. We’re people, and we need for our souls to be knit together. You know, Jonathan and David are this picture, right? So we could see that Jonathan’s sort of a picture of the church, and David is Christ. Jonathan and David—there’s a text that says their souls were knitted together. And then when they have to part, you know, they embrace each other, they kiss each other as friends. And so, but it’s this idea of knitting souls together.

And so he says that they refreshed our spirits and yours. “Therefore acknowledge such men. The churches of Asia greet you. Aquila and Priscilla greet you heartily in the Lord with the church that is in their house.”

Now this isn’t my point today, but if you want a proof text for the local church being a deal as well as the church in a region, here’s one of them. This is: the churches greet you, and the church that meets in this particular place. So it’s not just a regional church, which is easily demonstrated, but here we have a text that says that particular churches that meet in particular places—not just that occupy a particular region—they’re all called churches. So this is, I know, it’s kind of arcane for you maybe, but this is why we can say we’re a church and that there’s a church in Oregon City, and then there’s a universal church.

And so it’s important here in the concept, because when we affirm each other with the holy kiss, it’s in the context of our relationship with the body of Christ and other churches as well.

So the point here is that we have—the third time he then goes on to say: “All the brethren greet you. Greet one another with a holy kiss. Salutations my own hand, Paul’s.”

So again, here—this is the third time—now, fourth time, I guess—Romans, Thessalonians, couple to the Corinthians—that Paul gives us the command to greet one another with a holy kiss.

One last verse, and this is related, but it’s not the same thing. In 1 Peter 5, toward the end of that epistle: “She who is in Babylon, elect together with you, greet you. See, elect together with you? That’s our first basis for affirmation: that we’re called into one body through the election of God. Elect with you, greet you. And so does Mark, my son. Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace, peace to you who are in Christ Jesus.”

So the holy kiss is related to—it’s the same really—the kiss of love, and it results in peace. So you’ll hear it referred to as a kiss of love, kiss of peace, but really Paul uses it four times in four different epistles to refer to—he gives us this command to greet one another with a holy kiss.

All right. Now, what’s going on here? Does this mean I read one guy I very well respected: “Why do we greet each other with a kiss in worship? Because God commands us to do it.”

Is that true? Does God command us that we kiss each other? That’s the question. Are you ready to say, “Well, if he says that, we should do it”? I don’t think he does say it, but I am convinced that if that’s what the text tells us, we got to do it, okay? And not only do you have to do it, you should rejoice to do it.

Here’s why I don’t think that’s what he’s saying. Because the emphasis—he never says, “Greet each other with a kiss.” That’s not the command, right? They were already doing that by the B. Everybody was doing that, okay? Certainly the Jews in the congregation were greeting each other with kisses. If we go to the Bible in the Old Testament, kissing is all over the place. The Bible is a big book of kisses, and they’re not—most of them, almost—very few of them are romantic kisses. So you know, people were doing it. Why would he need to command something they were already doing?

He doesn’t command them to greet one another with a kiss. What he commands them to do is to greet one another with a holy kiss. So I think what Paul is doing is he’s taking an existing practice that they already were doing and saying, “Okay, so if that’s your way of greeting and you’re doing this thing, then make sure it’s holy.” Well, what does it mean “holy,” right?

Well, I think in the text—and we’ve already seen some things already here—generally, you know, certainly Paul is at least commanding holiness. Maybe he’s also commanding us to kiss. You might think that. I don’t. But he is certainly commanding us that whatever we do in our greetings, that it be holy. Why? Well, with kissing, we can think of reasons why holiness is important in that, right?

But what is holiness? Holiness is being separated or consecrated to God, right? That’s what holiness is. And it’s to get rid of the impurities, the sins. So when we keep when we greet each other with signs of visible affection—whether it’s a holy handshake or a holy kiss or a holy hug or a holy smile or wink, right? Some kind of visible sign of affirmation—it’s supposed to be associated with us with holiness. That relationship is one in which we’re set apart together with that person as holy before God.

So I guess what I’m saying is certainly holiness has to do with putting off impurities. It’s getting rid of that old crummy paving, and it’s laying down new paving at the same time. But part of that old crummy paving isn’t just your own personal conviction of sin. That’s good. If you’re going to greet somebody today with a handshake, think about it. This is supposed to be a holy handshake. Am I holy? Am I—do I have unconfessed sin? Is my life horrible? And not that it’s not horrible. We all sin, but am I doing something about it? Am I moving away from the sins that God has revealed to me? If not, you’re going to feel guilty shaking somebody’s hand. And you should. There should be a holiness in terms of your own.

It helps us to examine ourselves when we hug, embrace, kiss, shake hands, whatever it is, other people in the church, okay? So that’s good. But beyond that, we’re not set apart individually—that’s the point here. We’re set apart in a context of a collective, of a body, of a family, of a relationship. So we’re doing that here, and you saw that in the text I just read.

Let’s look again at Romans 16, rather. Romans 16. Before verse 16 comes a long list of people that Paul says, “Greetings from this person, greetings from that person, greetings from this person,” right? and “greet this person, greet this person, greet this person,” he says, right? That’s what he says. To greet this or that person and all the saints with them. So what he—the leadup to the holy kiss is a list of particular people that we’re to have relationship with and be greeted by.

Remember, the holy kiss is a greeting, and he’s just told us to greet all kinds of people. The interesting thing about that list of names in Romans 16 is it’s got men and women. It’s got Jews and Greeks. And we don’t know for sure, but there are at least three of the names that were very common slave names at the time—and names meant more then than they do now. So it seems like what Paul has prepared us for with the holy kiss is the affirmation of people across, you know, male-female riffs, across ethnicities, Jews and Gentiles, across historical rifts of Jews and Gentiles, across economic commercial lines. Masters and slaves were all to greet each other with the holy kiss.

So holiness is directly connected to the “one anothers” that this text finds itself in context with, right? So holiness is personal, but it also—I think—has a corporate, it has a social dimension. Holiness is social, not just personal, okay? Holiness means we’re set apart to God with a group of people, and our relationship to those people is to be one of affirmation, strengthening, sharing, and serving as we go through this series.

So, you know, if you want to get hung up on whether it’s a kiss or a handshake, you can go ahead and do that. You can think about it. That’s fine with me. To me though, what his real command is—he’s taking an existing practice and he commands you to do it in a particular way. So whether I’m—I could be wrong, maybe it is actually a kiss that we’re supposed to command it to do, but I don’t think so.

And it, by way of application: if you don’t think so and you think that a handshake’s okay, make it a holy handshake. I’m not kidding. Have it affect how you greet people. Show visible affirmation for a brother in Christ, right? And do that in the context of unity.

Now I’ll go on in verse 17. “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses.”

So here’s the other side of it. He’s got a whole bunch of people you’re supposed to greet with the holy kiss. What’s unholy then? It’s division and offenses that come through sins toward each other, right? “Contrary to the doctrine you’ve learned. So you know, he says that in context again—holiness has to do with body-building practices or not. Those who are such not through Christ but their own bellies, by smooth words and flattering speech, deceive the hearts of the simple.”

And then he goes on and says: “Your faith has been known.”

And then in verse 20 he says: “That God, peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.”

And then he says: “Timothy, Stephanus, greet you.”

We’re back to greetings. So we’ve got these greeting section—long list, a couple of names at the end. And in the middle of that, we’ve got this section about holiness and relationships as opposed to divisions. And we have a promise that God’s going to crush Satan under your feet shortly.

Now, that’s a verse that’s good to meditate upon when you get freaked out about what’s going on in culture. Remember the commanding officer says Satan is going to be crushed under our feet shortly. But how’s that supposed to happen? Through great political arguments? No. You know, through retreat and accommodation? No. It’s supposed to happen. One important element of victory in Jesus Christ are strong people who have been strengthened by being affirmed by other people just for being members of the same family and for their in the church, in the body, and that affirmation has been demonstrated for visible affection.

That makes strong people. If you want to prepare for the culture wars today, read Kevin D. Young’s book. Maybe we’ll start some Bible studies about it. Talk more about it next week. But if you want to get deep prepared, if you want to get really ready to be able to exercise victory over whatever manifestation of Satan is going on in the culture at the time or in your neighborhood, do this stuff. Affirm one another.

And specifically today, Romans 16:16, affirm one another with some kind of visible affirmation given to each other by means of holiness, and have holiness at the center of what you’re doing in the context of that.

All right, let me check the time. Good. Yeah, good. Okay.

Now, so I don’t think the verse is about the necessity of kissing. However—okay, now I want to say on the other hand: the idea of physicality in relationships is important. You know, if we’re going to affirm one another and share with each other, it means opening ourselves up to each other, and it means, you know, relationship with an actual person.

So when you go about talking to people, are you talking to them just to get abstract ideas and concepts, or are you doing it in terms of a relationship with a real person? Do you see the difference? We’re not just a series of ideas. It’s kind of a Greek, Platonic—we’re just thought, you know, kind of thing. And the body isn’t important. The body is important. We’re real people. We’re holistically made. And because of that, we need touch. We need physical affirmation, okay?

A handshake actually is important as it turns out. You know, there are people that go through prolonged periods of no physical touching with other human beings. It’s not good for them.

Now, the Bible—as I said earlier—it’s filled with all kinds of kissing going on in the Old Testament, right? And you know, normally it’s really kin kissing, family kissing. You know, we had that wonderful romantic story. Jacob goes to find a wife, and he goes to the well, and he rolls away the stone off the top, and there’s Rachel coming now, and he—Rachel, Rebecca, whoever it was. Okay, both. Well, so there’s a kiss that goes on, but that’s not a kiss that’s romantic. That’s a kiss because she’s a cousin. She’s of the same kin. And it’s an answer to prayer that he would be able to meet, you know, someone that maybe would be a wife from the same kin. And then Dad gets involved in the hugging and embracing too.

As I said, David and Jonathan—there’s kissing all over the Bible. Why? And particularly the Old Testament, right? We have some kissing in the New Testament. Jesus talks about, you know, “You didn’t kiss me when I came in. She’s kissing me. That’s a good thing,” he says, right? So there are some references to kissing in the New Testament. A lot of them in the Old Testament.

The Old Testament is, you know, it’s got a lot. It’s very—what is it?—non-abstract. Greek tends to, you know, the Greek culture tended to be abstract. It would be easy to take Greek ideas and think they’re the ultimate thing without the physicality element that the Hebrews really stressed.

So the idea here is that while I’m saying that the holy handshake I think is an acceptable alternative, it is important to recognize physical affection—visible affection toward one another—is an important way for souls to interconnect and really strengthen and establish one another.

So I don’t want to—you know, I don’t want to—I want the other ditch in the road to us as one ditch is I think taking one particular expression of visible affection—kiss—and ultimatizing it. The other ditch would be to say that’s not important, that kisses aren’t important, that physical touch is not important. It is. And I would suggest to you that when working with people, counseling, affirming them, building them up, praying with them, touch is good. Touch is good.

And that’s, I think, one thing that we application we can take from this verse. Touch is so good that in the context of the marriage laws of the Old Testament, if a husband diminished a wife’s food, clothing, or touch, she could divorce him and not have to repay the dowry. That’s what the Bible says. And that word for “touch,” some people say it’s just marital relationships. It’s just sex because she needs kids. I don’t think so. I’ve done studies on that word. It’s an obscure word. It’s only used once or twice in the Bible. It’s a bit obscure, but it’s broader than just sexual relationships within the context of marriage—as important as those are—as Paul makes clear to us in his epistles, right?

Another example: sexual relationships in the context of marriage are absolutely critical. They are glue. They bond people together. You know, they’ve—you know, I’m not big on scientific studies to affirm this stuff, but there are—there is a bonding chemical supposedly that after marital relationships increase in a man, they’re always high in a woman. But sex is a bonding exercise. And so with prolonged periods of no touch, you’re not bonded, right? Problems will happen. Not just sexual temptation—that too—but a distance develops, right?

And Paul tells us don’t do that. You know, I know it’s can be strange, but don’t—don’t separate physically. And then we’re told in the Old Testament that not only is it just talking about conjugal relationships, but if a husband and wife have no touch, have no relationship, have no communication, that thing withers and dies.

And then in those cases, I think—where there’s no touch, long period of time, and a refusal of the other spouse to enter into touching, responding, communicating—then I think it’s actually a legitimate grounds for biblical divorce, if there’s a refusal there.

So the only point I’m trying to make here is while it’s important to make sure we don’t limit the holy kiss to liturgy, we don’t limit it to just people that we’re going to physically embrace and kiss on the cheek—that it’s broader than that and it shows a responsibility to greet all of each other in the context of a church and affirm them by way of physical affection—we don’t want to limit it to those things. But on the other hand, broadly speaking, kissing is important in the Bible. And physicality is important in the context of created beings.

Now, kisses are powerful in the Bible. You know, Absalom—in trying to foment his revolt against his father—he would kiss people. They would come to him. They’d hold out the hand. He would kiss them. Maybe they’re kissing him too. And he used it—the scriptures make quite clear—as a political strategy to win the hearts of the people. Says in the first verse it says well he was kissing him. Then secondly it says by this he stole the people’s hearts away from David.

So you may be right and holy and righteous with God, but if the other guy knows what people want and need in terms of physicality, he’s winning, okay?

So kissing can be quite powerful politically. Kissing can be used as an execution tool too, of course. Joab, one of David’s guys, went to greet this other fella, and he and he takes him by the right hand and kisses him, and while they’re kissing the other guy doesn’t see that in his left hand he’s got the knife—a kiss of death. So you know, in the Old Testament, great friends Jonathan and David kiss, but kissing is also a political tool used by Absalom and an execution tool used by Joab.

Now, apart from getting into all the details of those stories, the point is kissing is powerful. Kissing is an important deal, and it’s powerful.

All right. So by way of application of these truths: As I said, in marriage, make sure that holy contact is—and this is important, right?—let’s say what it means—is if we’re to greet one another with visible signs of physical affection, certainly that’s true in marriage. And if you’re not doing that in your marriage, you ought to. And if your signs of visible affection aren’t holy, you should get them holy in your attitudes or actions.

This is increasingly important: creating marriage disciples in an exilic context where perversity and sexual imagination is no longer moral but quite immoral. It’s quite important for physicality to happen, but that it happen in a holy way in the context of marriage.

Two weeks from today, starting an adult Sunday school class. It’s six weeks, so you know, easy, low commitment—six weeks. It’s video-based, 15-minute video, some discussion, and it’s going to be using material called Sacred Marriage by a fellow that I can’t remember his name. So anyway, marriage—so it’s important in the context of marriage.

Secondly, it’s important in the context of the church. And as I said here: look over your directories. Who don’t I want to kiss today? Who can’t I kiss in holiness without hypocrisy and as an affirmation that we’re part of the same family, same body? And who do I not want to give that kind of visible affection to strengthen? Whom am I reluctant to do that with today? Pray about that person. Do something affirming for that particular person, right?

Another way to do this: If here’s a sign of physical disaffection. So I enter into a room, or somebody comes in the room. There’s two or three people, and I’m talking with somebody, and you know what they’re doing the whole time? They got this thing going. “Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hm. Oh yeah. Yeah.”

That’s a visible sign, not of affection. Now, you may not be meaning it as a visible sign of disaffection, but that’s the way at least some of us older people interpret it. You’re not paying attention.

As I said earlier, when we interact with people, we’re interacting not just to get the point. “Yeah, yeah, I got your point.” No, you want to hear their spirit. Their spirit is their breath. Their breath begins in the lungs with something that’s related in the Bible to the Holy Spirit. It moves through vocal cords, physical mechanism. It goes into this chamber of your mouth, physical mechanism. Your teeth help form it, and then the speech comes out through your lips. A right answer is like a good kiss. You see? Communication and attentiveness in communication—not just to get the point, but to embrace the person who’s speaking, right?—and the sharing of the spirit that happens through that speech. Using physicality to affirm that is good.

To disaffirm that—whether intentionally or not—through these wonderful mechanical—these wonderful technological devices. You know, if you have a hard time, just put the thing on the table when you come in the room, okay? This is one of the easiest ways to begin to affirm other people is just to listen to them. Look them in the eye. Don’t be distracted. Don’t want just to hear their ideas. You want to get to know them as a person. And that kind of look and that kind of attentiveness is affirmation through a visible sign of affection. You’re affirming your affection for that person.

As well, one last one, and then we’ll pray: Facebook greetings. You know, there’s a time to embrace and a time not to embrace. Ecclesiastes says, and there’s people we’re to have a holy kiss with. And then there are people whom the church declares outside of the body of Christ—they’re not in the family anymore. They’re not in body anymore. And to treat them like they are part of the family and body is to miscommunicate, right?

In Facebook, we have to remember in our communications with Christians to try to affirm through our speech that we’ve just been talking about. But there’s time not to affirm people. You know, if you got somebody that the church says really is no longer part of this holy-kissing thing, and you like whatever they’re doing, there’s a—there’s a communication in social media that again may go far beyond what you’re intending, but it’s there one way or the other.

Hopefully I’ve covered all the questions for the kids, and that maybe they’re your questions as well. If not, we can do them in Q&A time.

I just pray that the Lord God would cause us all, as we come forward today with our offerings, to offer ourselves to Jesus, that he could kiss us through other people, that he could affirm us with visible affection, that we won’t shrink back, and that and instead that we would see ourselves as emissaries of Christ to build the unity and the right functioning of the body here at RCC.

Let’s pray.

Father, we thank you for the holy kiss. Help us, Lord God, to continue to think through ways to apply it in our families, community groups, neighborhoods, etc. Bless us, Lord God, as a church that we would not just hear these sermons about affirmation, but actually act on them. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.